Jeremy's web site - archive page IV

15/8/3

Newspaper Press Fund helps me out

I have, today, received a cheque for Ł1,610 from the Newspaper Press Fund to pay off my overdraft and enable me to get a small dishwasher, to ease my eczema. The Newspaper Press Fund is a fund set up to help needy people associated with the newspaper (printed) press. I joined it, way way back in the early 1990s at a time when the National Union of Journalists was being derecognised by the major publishing houses. I would like to express my gratitude to the Fund, and in particular to the people who helped guide my application through its processes. I feel as though a weight has been lifted from me and I have been given a fresh start. Thank you! Letter from Newspaper Press Fund.

12/8/3

Learning the kings and queens of England

Finally found a couple of poems I had a quick root around for the other day but couldn't find during my ongoing declutter. Had been meaning to post on my web for the general good of learning, etc. Kings & Queens of England. Willy, Willy, Harry, Ste... Unfortunately, the rhymes only go as far as Victoria.

What do I read?

Did a scan of a list of my library of books I made a few years back. Found it during my declutter. It's mainly here in case I lose the original, but I figured there was an outside chance someone else might be curious to know what I have (and have not!) read. List of the majority of books I own (352kb).

Feng Shui consultant called in

My Feng Shui consultant, in Manchester, has recommended the book on decluttering the Feng Shui way, it is: 'Clear your clutter with Feng Shui', by Karen Kingston, publ: Piatkus, ISBN 0-7499-1824-1, price Ł6.99. I'm about a third of the way through. Quite inspiring. Am sincerely hoping the life-cleansing declutter effect will also have its effect upon me. Possessions I can declutter 'easily' (actually, it's pretty hard!). Adopting a new lifestyle I think would be a lot harder. Actually, I think the Feng Shui element may turn out to be clutter, as far as I am concerned, in a good book about decluttering. Getting cynical in my old age!

7/8/3

Happy Birthday, Ben!

It's my youngest brother's birthday, tomorrow!. Happy Birthday, Ben!

Is Norfolk serious about carbon reduction?

Wrote a letter to my former tutor, Dr Terry Thomas, at the University of Warwick, where I studied Engineeing Design and Appropriate Technology (EDAT) following a public meeting of the CRED (Carbon REDuction) group. They appeared to be suggesting that in an effort to convince the world that they were serious about carbon reduction strategies, they should make a symbolic gesture of two 1.5MW wind turbines sited in a very odd place. Personally, I am worried that this is more symbolic of their separation from reality. Unfortunately, the presenter that promised me a CDROM, from which I could have taken a map to indicate the precise siting (between the UEA and the new N&N hospital (about 500m from the N&NU) on UEA ground) of the two turbines, failed to do so, so I can't. Letter to my old tutor.

Just indicating my site is back in the market for letters...

The two entries below aren't really massively newsworthy, and are included, as much as anything, to indicate that my site is well and truly back in business, and that, anyone caring to write me a letter with a mind to it appearing for all and sundry to read (and, from the way some of the letters I receive are written (though not the ones below, of course, one of which merely required a little arm-twisting to generate), I deduce that this is precisely the case) can expect it appear in the usual manner.

Social Services: serious about data accuracy

Copy of a letter from Social Services in reply to my numerous grumbles about accuracy of data, etc. Letter from Social Services.

Why did NMHC spend Ł8,250 on a site survey?

Got a reply from Norfolk Mental Health Care's Director of Estates and Facilities, Jonathan Stewart, today, explaining why they spent Ł8,250 on an electronic site survey (and why it dug up some perfectly respectable concrete only to tarmac it again). The letter basically confirms what I was told at the time, that this was done 'for future reference'. It still does not explain why future reference might be thought to include the need to sight (or site) accurately, the land further downhill from the existing 'lower plateau' wards. Personally, I still suspect an underlying need to come up with a cash generation scheme - park 'n' ride or housing, perhaps? Prime land for it, of course. NMHC is currently sourcing more of its services OFF the hospital grounds, and is about to demolish Ward 12. So, quite why they're thinking of using that land, as I said, remains a mystery. Letter from NMHC re: Ł8,250 survey of its grounds.

Family tree

Have found bods in the 1881 Census, and also the 1901 Census. Am waiting for a contact in Australia (I suspect) to get back to me re: a large tranche of family. My family appears to have followed the industrial revolution, hanging round the Birmingham and Warwickshire areas. Pity I didn't do the same thing with current technology and employment needs. Might have a job!

Searching for Toys has been relatively easy. Am going to have a look into Freshwaters next, but and drawing deep breath before even contemplating looking into Joneses. There's just too many of them.

30/7/3

Am researching family tree

I have put together a quick Excel version of the family tree that my family (Toy) possesses so far and have begun digging to see if I can expand it at all. What we have goes back to about 1860 and a foreman in a railway carriage works. On the way here, today, I completely ignored someone trying to tell me about the Church of the Latter Day Saints, only to find its fingerprints on a record that might take my tree back another generation! (See www.familysearch.org). I also appear to have found some additions via RootsWeb.com. And, am checking out a couple of the authors/indexers associated, to see what their interest is. Might find someone's already done all the work. If anyone wants a copy of the tree as it stands (errors and all) just email me.

Special hi to PC!

Take it easy, PC!

Feng Shui and the Marks & Spencer policy

Am midway through massive declutter. Am, so far, using some of the Marks & Spencer policy: 'If in doubt, throw it out!'. However, am also hoping to take in a Feng Shui book on the subject. It is certainly very liberating to get rid of the junk!

14/7/3

My latest Curriculum Vitae

Have updated my Curriculum Vitae: My CV.

Fun way to hide a message: 'microdots'

Came across a fun way to encrypt messages in a Ł1.50 spy kit the other day: microdots. To call them microdots is something of a misnomer, because they're quite visible to the eye. In fact, what you do is draw a picture with blobby somethings in, in positions corresponding to the length across a page measured using a ruler marked from A to Z, and move the ruler down the page every time you have to start at the beginning of the alphabet again. Reminds me of the famous Tomorrow's World British microchip. Here is an example message: When did the murder take place? In this case, the microdots are the heads of the little men. Of course, the system suffers considerably from the fact that a large numer of 'dots' are difficult to conceal in a picture easily - particularly if, as I am, you are a bad artist.

3/7/3

...evening supplemental...

NMHC Modern Matron replies to 'that Sunday Times letter'

Modern Matron, Lesley Gray, has responded to a letter I wrote to the Sunday Times, briefing them on a few mental health care issues and a few of my personal grumbles. Letter from Lesley Gray, Modern Matron. This letter, of course, makes a whole lot more sense if you read the one below.

That Sunday Times letter in full

Letter I wrote to the Sunday Times, briefing them on a few mental health care issues and a few of my personal grumbles after the editor of the Good Hospital Guide supplement, Alastair McCall, answered my postcard by saying he'd include psychiatric hospitals in his next guide. Letter to Sunday Times of 4/5/3.

Letter to my MP about Tribunals, standards, etc

Letter I wrote to my MP, in a similar, though perhaps less thorough vein, about mental health care. Letter to MP of 16/4/3. As you have probably gathered, it is quite alright to have a typewriter in your room. In my case, a patient very kindly hunted one down and also went out and bought it for me! Thanks again, for that!

What has Norfolk Mental Health Care got, and where?

Guide to NMHC services in Norfolk.

Admission info from NMHC Trust

What information are you supposed to receive upon admission? Here is what I was supposed to get, but did not get until I started creating a nuisance: NMHC info pack.

Am applying for job with police

Recruitment fair in library, today. So, talked to police about support roles. Put my name forward for the position of Temporary Intelligence Unit Researcher, as it sounded quite close, in function, to journalist and administrator.

How long is a good game of chess?

Did a quick table of the length of chess games in a book analysing 'the 100 greatest chess games'. Here are the results: Chess game stats.

Secure encryption

The only proven secure method of encryption is to use one-time pads. Here is an Excel spreadsheet that prepares them for you: One-time pads spreadsheet. Warning! This file is large (436kb) and works your machine very hard, every time it refreshes it recalculates hundreds of cells.

My hygrometer is rotten

Tried to clean the algae off the tail of the wet bulb thermometer on my hygrometer and it came off in my hands, so have had to write off for a new one! Letter to hygrometer company.

What's the weather like in Norwich?

Here's a quick sample of the Norwich weather: Spreadsheet of Norwich weather (180kb). Not quite a whole year, but never mind. More later.

30/6/3

Mental health conference

Told Symon I'd post a link to the Outcry! direct user and 'survivor' mental health conference page, so here it is!
http://www.btinternet.com/~symon.price/outcry.html. Apologies for typo, earlier!

Why blog?

Anyone see the article in The Times, by one Damian Whitworth on blogging? Seems to cover quite a few of the reasons that I have for blogging. See: www.20six.co.uk/damianwhitworth.

Have assembled crawling crab model

Assembled a Maplin/Velleman crawling bug kit, yesterday. Looks like a crab, to me! Pics: Pics of crawling crab. This was a birthday present from my youngest brother, Ben, last year, and I have only just found time to put it together. Not very impressive, considering it is my birthday on Wednesday, 2nd July! I shall be having my first Section 117 meeting, then. Some people are just born lucky! However, am expecting to be discharged from Section and hospital, too.

Other pics, of now demolished car park not quite as interesting as I'd thought. Though there is a new 'vista' to the place I live, and you can now see the railway station through the space the car park used to occupy, this 'feeling' of new space and liberty doesn't translate very well to my photos.

26/6/3

I now have a week's leave

I now have a week's leave, and expect to be discharged completely, next wednesday, when I will also have my first Section 117 meeting. I have been sleeping the sleep of the dead, today, catching up after the noisy stressful ward life.

Shock therapy likely to drop in Norfolk

Am told electro-convulsive therapy is likely to drop considerably in Norfolk, as new government directive. Was also told that it is high, here (at present), compared to other places. Likely to be limited to emergency cases of catatonia only. Currently, given to 'little old ladies that have the blues'.

Sale of Lodge and demolition of ward

Forgot to add that one ward has already been demolished, at Hellesdon Hospital, and an admin block built in its place. The management of the hospital will be moving onto the main site, from their luxury Lodge in Drayton, as that is being sold off.

25/6/3

Pics of inside of a psychiatric hospital

Here are pics of the ward I have been staying on, as Word file, with limited descriptions of what each pic is, and as a Zip file with all the pics bundled in (18 of them). These files are rather large, of the order of 850kb, so may take a while to download.
Pics of the inside of Hellesdon Hospital as Word document.
Inside Hellesdon Hospital, Zip file of 18 pics.

I now have overnight leave

I now have overnight leave (for tonight), and am hoping I will get extended leave (long weekend, maybe this weekend, possibly more) tomorrow. Hoping to be discharged completely, shortly. I have a Section 117 meeting on my birthday, 2nd July.

24/6/3

Congratulations to my brother!

By the way, my brother got married on 6th June! He's having another ceremony on 22nd July! CONGRATULATIONS, BEN + BELL!

Some documents...

Letter from Sunday Times re: psychiatric hospital survey

Letter from Sunday Times regarding the survey of UK hospitals, and its promise to include 'leading psychiatric hospitals' in its next survey. Speaking from a position of personal experience of surveys, they are quite a pain in the neck for the journalist to produce - you get nothing but moans from the people that feel they've been done out of one blob or tick or another, despite the fact that you can't read the reply they faxed to you ten minutes after the final final deadline. The process, however, is interesting for learning what people consider to be important (usually by ringing around a few contacts in the business), and who 'has' what. It's not like there's much choice for a patient, if Sectioned, but I'm proud to have written to them and to have moved things on this far, and sincerely hope it will be a positive contribution to improvement or upkeep of standards. I'd expect it to be read in particular by thrusting psychiatrists after the best career, possibly nurses, as well as the more general readership wanting to know how good their local services are.

How can I be doing this? How do I get out?

Current Section 17 leave form. Section 17 leave gives me permission to leave the hospital, despite still being 'detained' under Section 3. At the moment, I have eight hours a day. I am hoping this will increase to some overnight leave, tomorrow, and that in a week or so, I shall be discharged completely.

Why did my Section 3 MHRT fail?

I appealed against my detention under Section 3, by calling for a Mental Health Review Tribunal. It went against me, and so I am still detained under Section 3. (However, see above for Section 17 leave). The following document gives the reasons why the three members of the Tribunal decided to allow the hospital to hold on to me.
Tribunal's reasons.

What's going on at Hellesdon?

There's a lot of change going on at Hellesdon. Ward 12 is about to be demolished, apparently. Heron Lodge, the semi-secure/secure ward is to be mothballed. I am unsure as to whether it will be demolished, having heard mixed reports. A company called IDE, from Ipswich, has been surveying the place. It was using satellite surveying equipment with resolution to 20mm. This means they would be able to tell the difference between the tyres on the tractors being used, more or less. I have written to the management, asking why they were spending Ł10,000 on such a survey. To me, it looks like a precursor to either selling land for houses, or another park 'n' ride scheme. (Norwich is rapidly closing down every car park it can find, resulting in appalling congestion - mostly because of concrete cancer, I think). Also, a lot of the work is being pushed outwards from the hospital. I'm not too sure of the politics, or thrust, but get the impression that this hasn't been planned too thoroughly, and is resulting in (or is likely to result in) a certain amount of chaos. Some staff are not too certain what they can do with some people, historical routes being blocked, or about to be blocked. There is considerable financial pressure, as I understand it. Letter from Paula Bourthis, later, when I get it, as promised.

Pics OK'd

My pics of the ward/hospital have been OK'd by the hospital, and they just want to photocopy the 'contact sheet' for reference before I get them back. Will scan and post here in a couple of days. Mundane, like I said, but if you've never seen one before, they might reassure.

BIG hello to all the nurses!

Apparently, there have been complaints that my last 'big hello!' to the nursing staff wasn't exactly big enough. So, to make up, here is another 'big hello!' to them, with thanks, once again, for putting up with me. I am such a pain in the neck. Personally, I consider this to be part of my make-up, and not a psychiatric condition. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, of course, and, on this matter, opinion may be divided. So, special thanks for all the new (old) jokes, and for tolerating all the old jokes I have been throwing around. I can't mention names, so can't thank the people that have taken the brunt of chickens crossing roads personally. They know who they are, though!

What goes 'Ha ha ha! Bonk!?

A hyena in the mating season!

Thanks to the library!

Special thank you to the library, which kindly gave me an extended loan for some books that were stuck at my house when I was dragged into hospital, and waived fines!

23/6/3

Hello, again!

As the astute among you may have deduced, I was Sectioned to Hellesdon Hospital on 28th March. I am now being readied for discharge with what is called 'graded leave' (Section 17 leave, Section 17, Mental Health Act). I began with four hours a day, last week, and am on eight hours a day leave. I have been repairing the damage to my flat caused by the process of entry and having two two-pint bottles of milk allowed to rot in the fridge. I am hoping that I will be given some overnight leave, shortly, and was told, last week, that I could expect to be discharged within a few weeks. Leave appears to be going well, so am hoping this will be sooner, rather than later.

Sunday Times to survey psychiatric hospitals

When the Sunday Times did its last survey of UK hospitals(shortly after I was admitted to Hellesdon), I noticed, once again, that psychiatric hospitals were not mentioned. I wrote them a letter suggesting that they should. The editor of the survey, Alastair McCall, wrote back and said that he agreed that it was a good idea, and that this would happen, next time! Watch this space for scan of his letter.

Hello to all the medical staff!

Big 'Hi!' to all the long-suffering nurses, nursing assistants, care assistants, etc, that have been putting up with me for so long.

What's it like in a psychiatric hospital?

There are pictures of me in Hellesdon Hospital in 1999 on the Inside psychiatry web page, already. However, to drag the world past the ward of 'One flew over the cuckoo's nest', I have taken a series of pictures of the ward (no people). Am hoping that these will be OK by the hospital, and will post here, shortly. They're very mundane, just pictures of the sitting room, dining room, the room I've been in, etc, but are intended to convey the fact that it ain't like in the movies.

What you need to know when you are admitted

Modern matron at the hospital is going to give me a copy of the induction information to have a look at for my comments. I have, as you might expect, been being a pain in the neck, writing various complaints, some of which were long and detailed.

How long will a geranium last without water?

About three months, apparently. Incredible. Cacti OK, Aloe Vera OK, even geranium OK. Just as well.

Thanks to my family

Special thank you to my family, which has been trying to help me pass the time in hospital without going up the wall. Anyone want to trade highest scores on Monkey Ball?

24/3/3

Got a letter from the Prime Minister!

Got a letter from 10, Downing Street, this morning! Couldn't believe my eyes! I had rather hoped that I might, at some stage, receive a letter from his office, having made a particularly pertinent political point. However, I was certainly not expecting to receive one for having sent him a Get Well Soon card! Must, now, address the issue of getting a letter from the Pope.
Letter from PM (Word).
Letter from PM (PNG image).
Am feeling decidedly pleased with myself, this morning! Will have to write special thank you note.

Benefits

Had to go to Job Centre to justify not signing on on Thursday (was rather busy trying to email defence to Application for Warrant of Entry to my solicitor). Am, as I write, waiting for adjudication. May get docked a day's benefit. Makes you wonder, sometimes, when there are missiles and bombs flying around in Iraq that cost more than I will earn in a lifetime, why they bother. Wonder whether Norfolk police have traced their missing half billion, yet!

I'm the mole you're after!

After playing with MI5 tee shirt, all week, culminating in full demo mode, on Saturday, with parabolic listening device, polaroids, peaked cap (applied backwards), etc, have finally gotten around to making Scene II tee shirt, purple on grey cotton, which reads 'I'M THE MOLE YOU'RE AFTER' all caps, Braggadocio (no holes in 'O's) to fill A4 width. Jeremy Jones, specialised subject, the *****ing intelligent! Will be paying visit to police station, later, to clear the 'art' with them. Wouldn't want to be seen, in public, exhibiting criminal art (or even criminal opinions on art).

22/3/3

Court grants Warrant of Entry

Have received letter from Approved Social Worker, Terry Skyrme, telling me that the Court granted a Warrant of Entry, and that he, Dr Deborah Spitz, MD, and one Dr Steve Tucker, will assess me under the terms of the Mental Health Act, 1983, on Thursday, 27th March, at 11.45am.
Letter from ASW notifying me of Warrant of Entry.
The choice of words that Mr Skyrme uses is beginning to become more than a little worrying to me. His tone increasingly indicates that he is 'determined to secure a conviction' and not 'determined to make a fair assessment of' my needs, and to 'act appropriately'. He says: 'Obviously, I have been influenced by what others have told me. However, I will try to ensure that the assessment is as thorough and objective as possible'. As if, somehow, it is an option for him to not be objective, or thorough, and that this may be determined by what 'others' have said. One might begin to doubt whether he considers there to be any point in conducting an assessment at all.

To be perfectly honest, I am not really surprised that Social Servics was granted the Warrant. They are, after all, entrusted with the social care of the country. Even if there are 'one or two question marks' over the odd part of the application, I would still expect one authority to support another. Closing ranks. They would be foolish to do otherwise. It would, after all, undermine confidence in all of them. As, naturally, would be being seen to support an application that was full of errors, personal malice, or other similar. But, as I said, it is hardly surprising. It is just a matter of slight concern to me, that I happen to be on the receiving end of this. Naturally, I would expect no more than my fair share of bad luck in this period of my life. It would, clearly, take an exceedingly bad run of luck to suffer more injustices than, say, one, in the processing of any individual's case. It is, clearly, at this point, merely my misfortune that the Court has felt obliged to support someone that has, clearly, been a little less conscientious than some others might have been.

War

Have been out and about, round town, displaying gaudy 'MI5' tee shirt (which, I note, I coloured black on yellow, and not blue, as it says below - must have been thinking of my scarab beetle tee), parabolic listening device, flashing blue light, and wah-wah. I'm not going to see my country march into another, illegally, without kicking up as much fuss as I an (or dare, under the circumstances).

Amusing headlines of our time

Just thought I'd remind the world of the famous WWII headline, which ran: 'Allies' push bottles up German rear', and compare it with: 'Allies push bottled up, An Anasiriyah'.

20/3/3

250,000 words!

Info to resist Warrant application

Have spoken to my lawyer, Margaret Taylor, of Ward Gethin. She said that I could, contrary to the advice of the Clerk of the Court, submit a defence against the application for a Warrant of Entry in writing. I spent eight hours typing something up, last night.
Info to resist application for Warrant of Entry (17pp, 105kb).
Warrant of Entry application by Soc Servs.
My covering letter to Court.

Help at Court form for aid.

18/3/3

Social Services resorts to desperate measures

Social Services has now threatened to get a Warrant of Entry from the Magistrates' Court to see me to assess me, under the terms of the Mental Health Act. It's amazing what some people will do when other people treat them with the contempt they so genuinely deserve!
Letter from Approved Social Worker Skyrme with 'information for the court'.
Not at all sure why Mr Skyrme has presented this information in this format. Talked to a Clerk of the Court, to find out how to contest this, and he explained that (unlike certain other courts), there was no submission of material in writing. I can only surmise that he wished to convey the impression that one does do so. If this is not for the benefit of the court, I cannot understand why he would not part with this information earlier (about five weeks earlier).
It is full of errors, half-truths, personal opinions, etc. It appears to indicate ignorance of the notes on my case, would you believe! Why on Earth these people bother attempting to write things down, in their cack hands, I do no know! They really might just as well use stubby wax crayons! It appears to suggest that I am mad to rinse my clothing thoroughly to remove soap so it doesn't irritate my eczematous skin. Have spoken to my dermatologist, to ask him to explain my situation to Skyrme. He agreed to do so.
Scanned the latest DPA offering from Norfolk Mental Health Care: History Sheet.

Still no word on who wrote what in the notes. And, I would be curious to know why Dr Spitz was writing to an executive officer of NMHC NHS Trust, describing my medical condition. What this has to do with the running of an NHS Trust, I do not know!
Also got around to scanning the notes of my psychiatrist in Lewisham (not sure whether I've put these here, before, but no harm adding again!):
Notes from Dr A Jeffers, with letter in response from me. Funnily enough, NMHC appears not to have access to this. No idea why! You will notice that these notes are every bit as full of errors and unnecessary superlative as many others!

Have written to my MP about Social Services. Have, yet again, had enough! Letter to MP, re: soc servs.

Scanned a note from my father, Derek, regarding water bills. This, I can only assume, is the source of the suggestion that thorough rinsing of clothing in order to prevent soap contacting sensitive skin constitutes a sign of psychosis.
Note from my father.

Comments on my poems

Scanned a note from my mother, commenting on my poems.
Mother's comments on my poems.

Medicine for your friends; medicine for your enemies!

Just a fun little clip from Uncle (in fact, the reason I decided to get it out of the library).
Quote from Uncle, by JP Martin.
Pic of Gleamhound and Eva by Quentin Blake.

I have just noticed that I appear to have misnamed a number of today's files. Instead of reading 18/3/3, they read 13/3/3. Whoops!

Systems in the Library playing up, again, today! Yet again, refusing to upload certain files. This is usually cured if I rename them with a random file name, which suggests that something, or someone, is not looking at the content, so much as the filenames. I tend to use a standard filename format (descriptor, date, suffix), which makes this rather worrying!

13/3/3

Social Services can't operate in print

Got another letter from my social worker (not 'Approved'). Indicates he is unable to use print. Doesn't add much else. Have, therefore, written back, and copied letter widely to various owners of suitable sticks. Haven't, as yet, heard from the Social Services Inspection Unit, and probably ought to have done, by now.
Letter from social worker.
Letter in response to social worker.

Knights Templar

Had a long conversation with my brother, David, regarding views on apparent masonic activity. After much evasion, reticence, question-ducking, etc, he finally answered the direct question 'are you a freemason'. What I was hoping for was that he might volunteer something along the lines of 'Dad! A freemason! Blimey that's worrying!'. Unfortunately, what I got tends to indicate 1) confirmation; 2) complicity in some form; and 3) a considerable degree of stupidity. Exchanged texts with my other brother, Ben, with much the same result (apart from actually asking him the direct question). This is not a good sign.

Signposts as a showcase for childish art

Got some report on accounts from Norwich City Council. Showed a pic of a street sign which had some child's picture attached beneath it, as part of the sign. This is not what street signs are for. I had had enough when I found that some idiot had used a symbol font on the signs for Castle Meadow. Have, therefore, written to MP, to get order instilled. We appear to be suffering from a burgeoning house style problem in this country. If we're not careful, we'll look like a ragbag of petty fiefdoms instead of a coherent whole.
Letter to MP, re: house style in signs.

Why bother with scrums and lineouts?

Made up a spreadsheet to help me keep count of who had won what, and who scored what and when in the rugby internationals. I never managed to bother to keep score of who had won what, at school, and, possibly as a result, was tactically useless. After using them twice, it seems that pretty much every set piece goes with the team it belongs to. Which begs the question 'Why bother with them?'. Perhaps they should ban lifting in the lineouts? Personally, I reckon it's just more dangerous, and looks less competitive and less sporting (no stats, sorry!).
Score card and set piece table for rugby.
I'd appreciate any feedback on it. I found it doesn't allow for all possibilities, but then, I don't know all the laws. One match had loads of lineouts compared to scrums. Makes you wonder how the poor forwards feel, when they're made to run from end to end and hoist seven-foot number eights forty times or so! It doesn't add up the scores, yet, either!

Ankh

Scanned my ankh against a background of a standard shorthand notepad (for scale).
Ankh (aluminium).

Don't partcipate in Red Nose Day!

Charity sucks!

Charity hands control over resources for the needy to the RICH!

Don't prolong the lie!

Don't participate in Red Nose Day!

6/3/3

Problem appears to have disappeared. It appears to have been traceable to a missing 'close quotes' character in an 'alt text' statement. Funny how it messed up centering, though. All goes to show how fragile computer code is, I suppose! Wrote about a programmable logic controller (PLC) for a nuclear system that went wrong because of an errant minus sign, once.

Thanks to my brother, Ben, for running an HTML checker and discovering this!

Community policing

Spoke to PC 218 Rudrum, the other day, about policing in general. Unfortunately, it was a lot like many of the police visits, when called out to deal with a crime. More like talking to a representative of the Moral Support Department than anything one might expect to uphold or enforce the law. Went over a few points I had already raised, in print, and one or two new ones (eg: electronic voting). I made it clear that I am getting fed up with police officers claiming that they know nothing about computer crime, or that it is too complicated for them, or that this is, in all probability, fantasy. Suggested that they attempt to move into this century. Hard to imagine them ignoring the introduction of fingerprints, or the magical electric telephone! He said he'd write something, but that he would not copy it to me.

New breed of police officer

Rudrum said there would be about a dozen new officers of some new description, with limited powers of arrest, in uniform, to patrol the city centre. Three on duty at any one time. Can't remember what they were going to call them. Apparently this is to deal with the truly massive alcoholism problem that has plagued the city centre since someone needed to put in a bid for extra money or resources to expand their empire a tad. That is to say, I am completely unaware of any such need. Sure, there is the occasional person who has drunk too much, but it's not like it's an epidemic.

Perhaps these will be the officers to be trained in the use of the anti-riot weapons that Norfolk Constabulary was going to obtain (no idea whether they actually did, or not), in order to separate the Yardie gangs and assorted rioters that one can always find, of a Saturday night, wreaking millions of pounds worth of damage in Norwich's swanky clubland?

Reminded PC Rudrum that I considered it to be a brass cheek to come to community meetings asking people what they wanted to see done when the police force itself had managed to lose 409 million, itself.

3/3/3

Jelly wellied!

Happened upon a fun picture, while scanning The Uncle Stories, by JP Martin!

'Uncle' the character wellying 'Jellytussle' in this picture, drives a traction engine (and not a Lada, as some readers of this site might have suspected!).

Social Services considers its next move

Letter from social worker. Clearly, as before, considered to be a matter of some urgency. Am, as a result of their behaviour, living in a state of not inconsiderable terror. Am not happy about it. Will have their doodads for this!

Shortage of psychiatrists mirrors shortage of lawyers

Saw the following in The Observer, on Sunday, so wrote to its Health Editor, Jo Revill:
Observer article on shortage of psychiatrists.
Letter to Jo Revill, of Observer.
Apparently, a shortage of psychiatrists is delaying the hearing of Mental Health Tribunals - in the same way as the shortage of Approved Mental Health Lawyers is (according to Bruce Chilton, of Fosters Solicitors, of Norwich).

Electronic voting piloted in Norwich

Norwich is to pilot electronic voting in the Local Elections, in May. After experiencing many problems with electronic systems, myself, am deeply concerned. So, have written to Returning Officer, for details.
Letter explaining pilot electronic vote option.
Letter to Returning Officer, John Turner.

War

Dr Ian Gibson, MP (Norwich, North) voted against the Government on the amendment ('not ready to commit, yet'). So, have written to express support. My MP, Charles Clarke, is paid to be Education Secretary.
Letter to Dr Ian Gibson, MP, re: war.
Letter to my MP, re: war.

Secure encryption

Am working on a program to (part) computerise the one-time pad method of encryption. This is the ONLY proven method of achieving genuinely secure encryption (always assuming that you can distribute the one-time pads in a secure manner - which problem this program will obviously not circumvent!). I am intending to assess the randomness of any one-time pads that I generate by computer (as the RND function on my Atari, with STOS exhibited very curious patterns). And, if they exhibit patterns, to randomise them some more - possibly by requesting the input of random numbers generated by the use of dice.
So far, I have only got as far as producing a program that makes use of Microsoft's Visual Basic standard random number generator and timer-seeding randomising functions. Here is a program that will print out one A4 page of 10,000 random alphanumeric characters (A-Z and 1-0).
RNDBUT.EXE (7kb)- Random number generator for Windows 3.11
It is an executable file that will run as any other Windows 3.11 program. I have no idea how compatible it would be with any other versions of Windows, but, knowing MS, would suspect not at all - as you'd expect from the world's greatest computer company.
All it does is put a small window, with one button in it, on the screen. If you click on it, it will print out a page of 10,000 random characters. It doesn't offer you the option to stop or continue. This program doesn't assess whether the numbers have any patterns or not. It's pretty much as it comes from Microsoft. It's very basic! But, you could, if you wished, use it to produce secure (barring the possible existence of patterns in the data) manual encryption via the one-time pad method.
Here is a sample output page:
Page of 10,000 random alphanumerics (A-Z and 1-0) (150kb).
For manual encrytion, you will also need to use an encyphering device, such as the Vigenere slide:
Vigenere slide. (Very small!)
If you wish to generate one-time pads using two dice, here is a six by six table to convert to the standard English alphanumeric character set:
One-time pad generation table for two dice.

'Uncle', the character wellying 'Jellytussle' in this picture, drives a traction engine (and not a Lada, as some readers of this site might have suspected!).

(Sincere apologies for the apparent amateurism in layout, here! Despite the addition of several 'cancel centring' commands, each checked, after discovery of initial problem, and even copied and pasted from successful versions, as another check, there appear to be problems in getting the system to recognise the word. I have no idea why, but will be checking into this). Stay tuned for the final product! - All the rest is just 'pretty good'!

Social Services considers its next move

Something appears not to be responding properly to ordinary HTML text commands at my end. If today's entry looks confusing, then I have no idea why it is happening. If it doesn't, then it's just a problem for me, in the Norwich Library, and I will investigate, accordingly. All the best to all! Soc Servs entry should appear correctly twice, but only seems to do so once, on my screen! JJ. 25/2/3

Hmm! I appear to be at large!

Bet you weren't expecting to see anything new, here!

Well, on the 20th, a team duly turned up, and asked me to buzz them in. I didn't do so. They duly let themselves in, when someone else used the gate. They pontificated somewhat at the door, about how concerned they were, and b*****ed off.

I now have absolutely no idea what they think of me, as no-one has been in touch, since then, either electronically, or by mail, to let me know what the situation is.

I have, therefore, written to a number of people to complain. Either this is something that is important, or it is not. It appears, to me, to be being treated as though it is not. I can assure everyone, however, that the small matter of the Ł450 or so I have now spent trying to shore up my life in the event of something catastrophic, is anything but trivial to me. And, for that matter, the very considerable levels of stress that behaviour like this induces in a person are, also, far from trivial to me. I am, therefore, about to enter battle mode.

Letter to MP, re: the usages of the Mental Health Act, etc.

Knights Templar

Letter to my mother and father. In this letter, I remind my father of something very peculiar he said to me, in 1994, when I was taking time off, living with them, after being diagnosed as suffering from stress. What he said, in fact, under his breath, was 'Knights Templar'. Since he, at the time, was clearing one side of the ditch, and I the other, I retorted that he could stay on his side of the ditch, and that I'd be happy staying on mine!

Housing Association replies to MP, re: anti-social behaviour

Cotman Housing has replied to my MP, regarding anti-social behaviour. He has, duly, forwarded me a copy, as promised. In view of the fact that it questions me, rather than addresses the problems caused by anyone else, I have written another letter to my MP.

Letter from Cotman Housing to Charles Clarke, MP.
Letter to MP, re: CH letter.

Therapy

While waiting for MH and Soc Serv forces to come into play, I have made myself a number of items:

1) An 'MI5' tee shirt (blue on yellow).
2) A clip to hold my rather long belt overlap (polished aluminium).
3) A decorative ankh cross (polished aluminium) of design and proportion similar to those used in the film 'Logan's Run'.

I consider this to have been very therapeutive! I wonder what those that might suggest I was ill, and might, later, need therapy, would suggest that I do with my time?

Am considering making a 'Plausible diagnosis of the week' trophy for patients in Hellesdon - to be held by the patient with the most plausible diagnosis, that week (polished aluminium mounted on wood, I expect).

Stats

My average contribution to the world appears to have leapt to 9.73Mb per day, from this site! This is about two or three times above average for me! Hits: 6307; Unique Visitors: 3949.

Data projects

Am not, as you may imagine, planning to be overly visible around town, in the immediate future. I may, therefore, have time to get around to one or two data projects. Hopefully, will be able to upload almost a whole year's weather stats for Norwich (Sportsmen! Check out those average temperatures and relative humidities to see when to stage your marathon event!). Should be able to finish doctors database, too. Will check for updated data, later (as am not expecting official sources to hold anything more current!). Am hoping to produce simple program to randomise random data fully, to make it useful for genuinely secure encryption. Anyone know anything about the degree of irrationality of irrational numbers? Are they, for all useful purposes, random? Might also produce database of my library, as might be useful, possibly even to others, and am also not particularly confident about the ability of Social Services to look after such things, in the event they assume responsibility. And, possibly, my record collection - which, as I understand it, is slightly obscure, and misses a number of what one might, reasonably, refer to as 'essential classics'.

You owe me a coffee maker!

Have remembered that I owned a coffee maker, while at 22, Grove Road. This did not reappear, when I moved to 307. Social Services owes me a coffee maker!

18/2/3

MH lawyer obstructs progress

Have just had a meeting with a Mr Bruce Chilton, mental health lawyer at Fosters solicitors, of Norwich. During the meeting, he repeatedly blocked progress of the conversation, despite repeated attempts to move it on. After flatly refusing to see that jelly beans could be analagous to pills, he grumbled about how sad it was that he was a diabetic, and how small sugary spheroids would, more or less, constitute poison, to him. He moaned about how sad it was that he found himself having to do the work, and how his company would only make Ł49 per hour out of it. It's tragic, isn't it? It was rather like witnessing a child refusing to acknowledge arguments, but in the adult way of politicians refusing to answer the question that Jeremy Paxman asks them.

Early on in the conversation, I had concluded that Mr Chilton had decided, for reasons unclear to me, that he was not intending to help me, but, rather, waste the time I had at my disposal, and, in all probability, precipitate a situation in which he would consider himself able to say that I had no faith in him, and that he was at liberty to refuse to handle my case (see similar incidents with doctors (eg: Dr Dent, and others on this page (see, for example, multiple guess quiz, regarding eczema)). This is behaviour that I am familiar with. It sends immediate signals of the type 'I am not on your side, but will say, repeatedly that I am, and will waste the few precious resources available to you until I feel free to leave'.

The sad thing is that this may, in some such instances, make it difficult to find another person to do the job properly. Legal Aid forms tend to ask whether you have seen another person, and will preclude you seeing a second for the same thing.

Eventually, Mr Chilton, as expected, concluded that he had earned the right to say I had no faith in him (true) and that he could wash his hands of me. So he did. At that point, I asked to see the manager. Saw a young woman, from Client Care (whom Mr Chilton was careful to introduce to me, personally, in order to hint at the idea of the futility of complaining about a senior partner - coward!). I did this. She offered the possibility of seeing someone else. I will be checking this, tomorrow.

When I was Sectioned, in 1999, Mr Chilton behaved similarly, robbing me of valuable time, by hinting at availability, and then reporting that he was unable to help.

After someone behaves in this manner, one is left asking just exactly what they believe they are doing, and for whom. Mr Chilton was even stupid enough to say that he didn't need mental health business - coming from the Senior Mental Health partner, this seemed particularly stupid.

Chilton even tried to pull the 'how dare you insult authority' card, with me! Addressing a former journalist! What a lemon!

After saying he couldn't see the analogy between beans and pills, I moved debate to the font used on both the items I had at hand (CD and medicine book). Both, as it happens, have a similar font - similar 'aspect ratio' (thinness, and boldness) and both have a similar form of 'serif' (or, in this case, almost what one might call 'half-serif'). Mr Chilton refused, again, to see this similarity. Which was rather odd. The point I was making was that someone had, in two instances, clearly decided on the use of a similar font - presumably because it complemented the theme - in both cases, perhaps, mental illness? Or would it be more sensible to conclude that artists tend to seek discord in professional 'meatball' imagery (as opposed to 'challenging' works of art) rather than harmony?

Mr Chilton also revealed himself to be within the 'long letters indicates madness' camp. Addressing a former journalist. Presumably, the vast acres of forestry that lawyers are known to waste in detailed, lengthy cases, is an indication of madness, rather than jurisprudence at work?

Hey! Put my case on a postcard!

All in all, not a terribly encouraging start to these proceedings.

The price of mental health

Bill for preparations in case of Sectioning now stands at about Ł450. I sincerely hope that those that consider their artistic opinions to be defensible in this manner are happy to pay their bar bill, soon.

Anyone know any lawyer jokes?

What's the difference between a pillarbox and an elephant's bottom? Well, I don't know what Mr Chilton thinks he's been putting in the pillarboxes, round here, but, if I find out that this is why my Special Deliveries haven't been arriving...

Well, I hope that's a good start!

What's white, minty and dangerous?

I don't know, but I wouldn't ask Mr Chilton for advice on the matter! The 'childproof lid on pill bottles' analogy was lost on him.

(Actually, mustn't knock lawyers, my father was one, and managed to pay for a pretty first class education at a minor public school on the back of it! - Shame it didn't include art, mind, but you can't have everything!). All lawyers are, by very definition, superior beings who must not be insulted - except by doctors. Signed, a (former) journalist.

What's luck got to do with it?

Have been out, round town, taking a random walk. Put three dice in a shaker, one four-sided, one six-sided, and one ten-sided. Drew some little 'gear-stick' diagrams to represent all possible junction possibilities. Thought I might draw attention to just how lucky some people appear to be, while others appear to be so unlucky. It's curious, living in a block of about 86 flats, that I should continually bump into so few people, but that I should bump into one or two so regularly. Perhaps most of the flats are actually empty? Perhaps I am magnetic? I have, again, today, after dealing with a mental health issue, bumped into a Meridian East client - pure coincidence, of course. Ever played with loaded dice? They don't half wobble before they settle - blindingly obvious, and such a small gain, in astronomical terms, too! Anyone see The Truman Show, the other night? I just happened to turn it on, like yer do.

Congratulations, Suzi!

Am told, by said client, that Suzi Heybourne is 'up the duff'. Congratulations, Suzi! Hope it goes well! Hope this is one of those lucky births that has a labour period of only half an hour!

Am not expecting to have time to add to this web site, between now and my assessment, on 20th Feb. If I don't catch you, before then, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Goodnight!

Jeremy.

PS. Have discovered that whatever it was that messed up the police story also appeared to mess up a doctor story, by replacing the pound sign and the next character afterwards (can only conclude some kind of program involved, rather than simple search and replace function).

13/2/3

Supplemental

Have added email exchange file, in Word format that I forgot, earlier!
Email exchange with Chris Wheal that may have led to suggestions of illness.

'Dangerous lunatic' makes steps safe

Have received letter from Cotman Housing apologising for the fact that I had to salt steps at Parmentergate Court, when they were icy, because the caretaker hadn't done it. They said they hoped that this would not happen again. I am not aware of the Residents' Association (which believes I do not live there!) doing anything about this - probably too busy talking to the caretaker, at the time! You can imagine what course of action a person might consider suggesting to the caretaker or Residents' Association, when faced with being locked up on the grounds that they are '...a danger to the public or to themselves...' when they've had to do this! Lock 'em up! That'll stop people breaking their necks on dangerous stairs!

Have had enough of abuse - wrote to MP

Have summarised a number of problems and forwarded to my MP, Charles Clarke, together with some background documents. Am hoping that, in spite of refusal to meet, he will action something.
Letter to Charles Clarke, MP.

Hey Chrissy-Wissy! - Oh, Hi! Er. Katey, er...

Whoops! This was supposed to be 'Email exchange between myself and Chris Wheal (a journalist) which may have led to one accusation of illness', but appears to be a letter - have brought wrong file with me - will return, shortly, to add email exchange -I have a feeling the email is already on this site, in a Zip file with a bunch of others (if you're desperate!). Try free2190702.zip, which contains a load of emails I sent out regarding freedom of speech. I think it's called CW139.TXT. - 'Word' version here, later, though!
Email exchange with Chris Wheal (Word format).
Letter to an old friend, regarding foreknowledge of my vote, which led to termination of friendship.
Letter to Steve and Michelle, a couple of former journalist colleagues of mine.
Postcard to Steve and Michelle.
Letter to Steve and Michelle.
Letter to Steve and Michelle, regarding how to react to meeting a fake doctor.
Speculative letter to an old friend.

Contact with Lib Dems

Have written to Charles Kennedy to try to get something done about the Ł409million that Norfolk Constabulary has lost.
Letter to Charles Kennedy.

Letter to dermatologist

Copy of letter to my dermatologist.

Get Well Soon, Angus!

Please wish the famous Angus, of Australia, well - at 37, he has managed to contract Chicken Pox!

11/2/3

Proceedings delayed until 20th Feb

Social Worker has postponed assessment until 20th Feb. Clearly, then, this is a matter of high priority!

Have finally got around to scanning in letters:
Original invite, plus postponement notice.

So, am breathing something of a sigh of relief, at the moment, but it will certainly be some time before I step down from 'DefCon 1'.

Have sent invitations to various parties to pay the bill for my preparations for incarceration, which currently stands at about Ł300.

Social Worker is, basically, refusing to volunteer answers to my concerns, and has, now, repeated a suggestion to me that I go and talk with him about them. Why he felt unable to jot a few comments down on paper, I really can't imagine - particularly as he was writing to me, anway!

MP refuses to see me

My MP has cancelled his appointment to see me (to talk about communications). I can only assume that this was because he didn't like the tenor of my letter to Dr Spitz.
A telephoned request to his Norwich offices resulted in a refusal to say that he would see me at all. Which I took to mean that he will not see me at all.
Letter from MP refusing to see me.
Rather disappointing, really.

Wanna job?

Have scanned in ATV letter, which seems to have been written on the assumption that I meant 'myself' when I said 'my brother'.
Letter from ATV.

Access and upload to my web site manager is still proving to be a nuisance.

Which discipline has priority?

Have written to my dermatologist, copying letter to Spitz to him, suggesting that I am expecting there to be cooperation between brain and body disciplines. Am worried that conditions at Hellesdon are far from conducive to good skin health, and that leaving me where I am would be a much better policy. (I also happen to be of that opinion regarding matters brain!). Am guessing that brain will rule. Funny thing is that they then take responsibility for 'total care'. As if, somehow, this is not possible with body. Last time I was with brain, I was sent down to Asda to buy sanitary pads for a patient. Hardly a good indication, is it? May upload copy, later, but am likely to be busy with other matters!

Stats

Busy day, again, today! So far, today (4.10pm, UK time) this site has supplied 34Mb to the web, to 18 unique visitors.

10/2/3

Monday, tenth February, 2003.

I reply to psychiatrist, re: move to Section

Have written back to psychiatrist, Dr Deborah Spitz, MD (US), re: move to Section me.
Letter to Dr Spitz.

No more comms to Auntie

Postcard to Aunt.

Is poetry the new Prozac?

Have writtent to Radio Times's new Poetry Doctor, regarding creativity, etc. Expect me to sweep all contestants before, and to win major international awards and plaudits, etc, etc. :)
Letter to Poetry Doctor.

For the foreseeable perpetuity

Have sent $100 off to web space provider, in order to assure the continuation of this web site for the foreseeable future.

Preparations

Am making preparations in case am Sectioned. This is already getting expensive. But, hey, who cares? Needy artistic community to support! They gotta fight for their right to be stupid!

F = m.a - and don't you forget it!

8/2/3
Eighth February, 2003.

Defence of thesis time

I have received a letter from Peter Fowler, of Social Services, telling me that a consultant psychiatrist, an Approved Social Worker, and one other doctor will be calling on me, on Wedndesday, 12th February, at 3.30pm. This is code for 'We intend to assess you to see whether you should be Sectioned, under the terms of the Mental Health Act, 1983'.

So, it is now time for my family to decide whether it truly believs that asserting that jelly beans may be representative of pills or not, and whether the assertion that they do is indicative of madness. I am not confident for them. I am expecting that I will not be Sectioned. At this point, various members of my family will have a lot of explaining to do, both to me, and to various authorities whose services they have engaged, expensively, for no good reason - and possibly for a very bad, one!

Anglia plays along with joke, too

Anglia TV has now played along with joke regarding finding a job for my brother in Norwich. Curiously, as BBC TV in London, it has also replied as if it was me that applied for work, when, in fact, it was clearly written on behalf of my brother. This, and the BBC replies, will make defence of thesis harder for my family, and easier for me!

...it's later than you think!

As a result of this threat, I have gone to police, and reported a number of computing problems. I am attempting to bring forward my meeting with my MP. I have bought a load of alcohol (very little likely to be necessary, as I have been tee-total since 31/12/2). I have chalked a fun reference to Ghostbusters, by drawing footprints from lions outside City Hall to a couple of plinths some way down the hill. I have sprayed an anti-war protest message or two on the car park that is about to be demolished. Am buying provisions (tea, mustard, herbal tea, paper, envelopes, stamps, typewriter ribbon, warm blanket, etc) for possible stay in very cold unfriendly environment. Have spent Ł40 on phone cards in case it is necessary to phone lawyers, etc. Security marker, as Social Services may wish to store all my stuff in mouse-infested warehouse.

If I am Sectioned, I will lose housing benefit. I will lose my flat. I will not get a new flat until I am out of debt. In other words, my entire life will go down the pooper. This, to me, seems a very high price to pay for someone propping up a very shaky position on a crappy piece of art, which was making money out of someone else's supposed illness.

One aunt has opted out of the debate. Another, to whom I was having curious difficulty in getting post through, has also opted out. Fine. End of communications.

F = m.a, and don't you forget it!

Police

Went and had chat with police to point out that I was becoming less than happy with equality, round here. The night before last I was nearly attacked by the friend of a neighbour. Police were on hand, and told me that if he did it again, he'd be arrested. This was great news. Here I am, about to be locked up because someone doesn't like my opinion on art, and some guy that actually went for me gets ticked off!

All this should make for an entertaining few days!

Am not, therefore, expecting the happiest of Valentine's Days.

I will not cooperate with any suggestions that I should take medicine - particularly if this comes down to someone disliking my opinion on art. It is, therefore, entirely possible that I will be medicated against my will, again. This is likely to mean what is known as a 'depot' injection. It last for a week or two weeks. Unfortunately, more modern medicines, for reasons that are not clear (one might expect provision to improve) are not available in depot form. So, one has to have, for example, Clopixol. Prolonged use of this leads to a phenomenon known as 'tongue-chewing'. It looks painful, uncomfortable, and particularly ugly. The tongue protrudes from the mouth slightly, and the person chews on it. But hey! That's the price of asserting one's opinion on art, isn't it? (See section on this site on psychiatry (top of page) for typical side-effects, etc, I have experienced before).

Have chalked 'FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION FOR ALL' outside Norwich Labour Club, as cannot be certain that I will get to see Mr Clarke before some idiot asserts the artistic opinion of a bigger idiot. I think that this is an issue that might be considered to have considerable potential, later. And it may even be something of a first for some people.

Will be buying a box of wax crayons for the psychiatrist to use when interviewing me, and will be retyping my CV, as this seems to be about the only thing they wish to talk about, usually (see scans of notes on this site).

Hoping I will be posting here again, regularly, in the future.

Jeremy.

PS. Sorry if I got the month wrong (4 instead of 2), on the 6th. Am hoping that this mistyping on my part, and not further evidence of hacking! I managed to get it right in the 'last modified' field! Mentioned potential hacking problem to police, who said that this was not something that they would normally take up, as they did not have the resources. It was partly for this reason that I chalked 'Spare Ł409million. Exorbitant lifestyle to support' outside Bethel Street Police Station.

Have just noticed that I have a reciprocal link from the consultants that were up here for the Southern Quarter meeting! Amazing, considering my opinion of them!

6/2/3

UV and TB bacteria

Have been posting to Guardian Talk Board (naughty). Asked about effect of UV on bacteria, and foot-and-mouth, etc. Have just got reply back, saying a Nobel Prize was won in 1904 for finding bactericidal effect on tuberculosis bacteria.

Ł409m hole - police 'aware'

Have just discovered that a number pound sign and a 4 on this page was altered to a question mark, so that a headline read ?09m, instead of Ł409m on the reporting of the huge hole the local constabulary has managed to make in the national economy. The funny thing is that this happened in the body copy, too. I wonder how it happened? At no time did I perform any search and replace function on this page - I can't! Will make enquiries of my provider, Zero Catch. Have, now, corrected this.

Well, at least, I thought I had corrected it! Just went back to check, and discovered the pound sign had gone again! Thought it might be a recently introduced quirk, but no, the pound sign at the top of the page was there! What a curious bug to find!

Funnily enough, I popped into the police station only yesterday to ask whether they had found it. Nope. Not aware of it. But, if we were, it was definitely a loss on the stockmarket, and not stolen. That is... Errr... Umm. I mean, I didn't really know about it. But did. Really. Er. It's amazing what you can learn in the police, if you're there long enough. Lying successfully, for example!

Also, not aware of the elephant that the German police managed to lose after recently delicensed zookeeper went on run with one. Rather funny, that, though. Wonder how they could fail to spot something that large!

Computing and communications policy

Have finally got tired of having to wage constant war with the PCs in order to get anything done, and with the apparent inability of the Post Office to deliver a simple letter on time. Have, therefore, written to my MP about this. In view of delivery problems, I also took a copy by hand. And, in view of potential problems of this sort causing me considerable loss, in terms of influence, rights to complain, etc, I booked an appointment to see my MP, on 21st Feb, regarding communications.
Letter to MP, re: Royal Mail.
Letter to MP, re: Communications.
Letter to MP, re: PC policy in library.

What are those strange red boxes on the corners of streets, round here? And, are there any more of them? And what's with these curious long strips of black sticky stuff with stones in - seem to go on for miles!

'I am a manager'

Talked to a man in the library, yesterday. Said he was about to go for a third round interview with the Nelson Hotel for a management position. Halfway through the conversation he asked me to explain the meaning of the word 'subordinate'.
Had to sign on, today. Mentioned this to my controller. Now, I am reasonably certain that it would have been clear that I was being sarcastic. Unfortunately, after asking, very sweetly, to explain the meaning of the words 'subordinate' (and this is a man that knows I used to be a journalist), he began to explain for me!
What am I supposed to think of a world where people that clearly don't even know the meaning of the word management are getting third round interviews and end up in charge of signings at job centres, where, presumably, people that may consider themselves to have been managers end up explaining their situation?
Suggested to the controller that there seemed little point in bothering, if I could not be certain of communications getting through (either email or post), and when complete no-hopers were getting the interviews, and when I had bumped into a former freemason who had, pretty much, confirmed that the city was stitched up by them. Might wander down to the Nelson Hotel and order an orange juice from the bar, to see what sort of people they are hiring, down there, if this is typical.

Corrections for OAPs

PC fell over, while typing up a previous letter, re: OAPs, and how much they need to eat, as compared to anyone else, and why they get twice the money someone on the dole does. So, here is finished version:
Letter to MP, re: OAPs.

Car park to go

Car park demolition expected to start in two weeks. Expected to last 12 weeks. Will do some pics, while in progress.

Brewery to go

Old brewery warehouse, opposite Parmentergate Court, is expected to remain standing until at least August, as local roads already overloaded by heavy vehicles. May even be longer, as building work on old Norwich Union site (I think - other side of King St) running behind.

4/2/3

What the consultants didn't say

Have finally won battle with scanner and other software in the library. So, here is copy of the Charter proposed for signature, before you can have a voice in the future of the area (quite what was wrong with the Council, I am not sure).

Charter. If scan were not black and white, you would see me - as it is, my bald pate shows up as white spot below right of a wimple of a nun.
Comparative pics of area now with what consultants sketched (521kb) - spot the gloss!
What Norwich looks like as you approach by river (1.2Mb). (Warning! Large file!) The curious wet thing that the consultants conveniently forgot.

Pics of strikers

Blair on way to moon.
Strikers standing by brazier.

Some of my own art

Art by me.
The sort of thing that inspired it.

BBC HQ replies

Would you believe, the BBC HQ personnel dept also took me seriously!
Letter from BBC, re: employment.

UV latest

Philips replies, re: UV exposure: letter from Philips.

Car park to go

Car park looks like it's about to be demolished. Reckon Cotman Housing could make a packet out of selling car parking space to Norwich workers. Currently, about Ł5 per day. 15 spaces always available. Ł450 per six-day week, almost guaranteed! That's about 1.5 new caretakers per year!

Library PCs playing up

Library PCs are playing up, again. Will be raising this, as matter of importance, with my MP. This is getting ridiculous! Have had trouble accessing email programs, getting it to copy to floppy, accessing this web page, would you believe, accessing files pointed to by this web page (although only once each), uploading files (until renamed with random filename), scanning files correctly (until renamed with random filename), scanning mirror images (unless done as unusual (to me) format). This is really getting ridiculous! Sure get some wierd bugs round here!

1/2/3

Wrong kind of caretaker!

Wrong kind of caretaker on the line, yesterday! Lost patience waiting for the caretaker to clear snow and salt, so did it myself, thus spawning yet another letter of complaint to Cotman Housing, and to my MP, regarding charity and housing provision. No reply yet, from Cotman, following MP's request to them regarding anti-social neighbours - either from them or from MP.
Letter to Cotman Housing, re: Ł40pcm and what it buys.
Letter to MP, re: housing and what they City gets for its money.

'Lazy folks' stummucks don't git tired!'

Saw an item on Ceefax, a couple of weeks ago, which indicated that old-age pensioners get about Ł110 or more per week. I get about Ł53 per week. It occurred to me to ask exactly why it is that pensioners are worth twice as much to this country as I am. Do they have bigger stomachs to feed? Are their flats twice the size, and need twice the electrickery? So, posed question to my MP
Letter to MP regarding relative payments to OAPs and the unemployed.

Busy folks stomachs ain't filled fer long!

In a related matter, it occurred to me to ask just how long a career the average graduate can expect. In other words, how many of these heavily indebted students does Charles Clarke expect to repay their loans? My career lasted seven years. I would not, in that time, have had enough income to repay a large debt. In fact, I barely managed to afford to buy a 125cc motorcycle, which cost about Ł1,300 - and that was when I was in cheap accommodation!
Letter to MP, re: repayment of graduates' debts.

Art versus insanity debate nears conclusion

I've got spots! I think you mean you've got pills! No! I mean spots! They're pills! No they're not, they're spots! Pills! Spots! Pills! Spots!
Look! It's perfectly obvious they're jelly beans!
Finally got fed up with the jelly bean versus pills art debate, so attempted to instil order.
Unfortunately for my aunt, to whom I wrote, the Post Office appears to have let me down, again, with the Special Delivery, which, a day and a half later is still 'progressing through the network'. I am beginning to suspect that there is a black hole somewhere in the vicinity of Dartford. Or is it behind the counter in Norwich?
Letter to my aunt (who is an English teacher) regarding the use of safety lids on pill bottles.

What's the difference between a Special Delivery and an elephant turd?
- I don't know!
In that case, I want my money back!

Will now have to email it to them, and resend a copy, by Special Delivery, again - which will be bad for all concerned.
What's the difference between the library system refusing to upload a file and the Post Office failing to deliver at least three Special Deliveries in time (if at all?).
Perhaps the Royal Mail could make an enormous saving, thereby 'preserving' the institution for us all if it installed a shredder and a coin to toss behind every counter, and randomly shredded half of what people handed to them to process?

Redevelopment of Southern Quarter of Norwich

Consultancy firm has posted part of a copy of the flyer it produced after the weekend.
How they see it looking
What else they have done (www.communityplanning.co.uk).
John Thompson consultancy web site.

Unfortunately, there appears to be no reference to the 'Renaissance Charter' that they are asking people to sign. Why they feel that they should, or have the right to, oblige people to sign a charter before they have the right to continue to be involved is beyond me! It's not as if large building companies will give a monkey's what's on the piece of paper - even if they are obliged to sign before they can build.
A keen eye will notice that the sketch of the Southern Quarter predicted suggests that JT consulting has a completely different idea of how Hopkins Homes (or whichever company it is) wishes to redevelop the old brewery site, opposite Parmentergate Court. The drawings indicated a road diagonally across the site. JT has divided it vertically. The site of the new 'amphitheatre' is currently home to a number of flats. And, as for the chances of Normandie Tower being reworked in the way they suggest, well, it's too ridiculous for words! I suspect a lot of this is wildly optimistic, and of litte value! I just hope it didn't cost too much!
Will scan in full version of documents, as supplied, later.

I taped the presentation, and may consider transcribing it for posting here, later. However, I'm not sure it was terribly worthwhile. A lot of it came across as 'what I did on my holiday to Norwich'. From what they said, it seemed a lot like the children of some schools in the area had a much better idea of how to go about spending redevelopment money than most of the adults! (Although I must confess that I have no idea why one of them would suggest putting chicken farms over the entire area, and suspect the influence of Mother Superior in suggesting that everything except the churches be wasted).

Elephant spotted in cherry tree!

Anyone see the story about the zookeeper who went on the run with an elephant, after his licence to keep animals was withdrawn? Police apparently rather embarrassed, over there! Perhaps they'll find a bottle of red nail polish - unopened, in the glove compartment of a Mini? Meanwhile, over here, the police are, apparently, merely unable to spot Ł409million that they have 'mislaid'. Anyone got any clues for them?

29/1/3

200,000!

Word count now 201,895! That's approximately 1.1million keystrokes to create this web site, so far!

Police respond to policy letter

Have got around to scanning letter from local police, regarding policy: letter from Chief Inspector.

Blair using old technology

Firemen tell me that the rocket was made a year or two ago, to start a bonfire. They just painted the slogans 'Blair's weapon of mass reduction', etc on it, and mounted the effigy on it for the strike. Have just taken pics. Pics here, later.

Local planning

Local planning summary meeting, tonight. Expect report, if anything noteworthy, here, later. Am hoping I will have the chance to talk to a policeman or two about policy, and, for example, the missing Ł409million. Could hire quite a few coppers for that! Might not need sponsored cars, either! Wretched white-collar criminals! You can imagine the song and dance that there'd be if the police round here netted a Ł400million drug bust!

Yardies targetting the area

Forgot to mention that, apparently, Yardies are targetting this area, according to police. There was a stabbing, the other night, in a local tower block. No reports indicating that this might be related, but am aware of numerous doors being stoved in, round here, had a bust site pointed out, while doing rounds for planning do, and now this.

Perhaps this might make a suitable candidate for examination using fuzzy cognitive maps? How does a gang establish itself in an area? What factors are important? Can you model this area using knowledge of what has happened in areas where they have already established themselves?

The lowest form of wit - and low art

I am worried for my father. He has written to me, accusing me of 'trying to harm' my brother, David. These are very perjorative words indeed. I can only imagine he is referring to the letters I wrote to the BBC, and to Anglia TV, trying to find my dear, beloved, darling brother a better job in this area. Perhaps he refuses to accept that this letter was merely a form of sarcasm? Perhaps this was not obvious to him, or to my brother, or possibly others? I cannot imagine why. On the other hand, the BBC very kindly wrote back to me, indicating how my dear, darling brother might, indeed, be able to find better work. Perhaps it wasn't sarcasm? In which case, what's the problem?

I would hate to think that, in addition to ditching allegory in art (jelly beans equating to pills), my family wished, now, to ditch the concept of sarcasm, too! This would, truly, result in a impoverished culture!

It is almost beginning to appear as though members of my family are engaged in a balloon debate, expecting one or another person to go to Hell-esdon, and are pushing and shoving for room.

To suggest, as my father does, that he should be worried about my state of mind, simply because I sent a sarcastic letter to someone - particulary when they very kindly played along - is a rather worrying development. It is very similar, indeed, to the suggestion of my social worker that to write long, varied and detailed letters of complaint is an indication of madness.

I am increasingly worried that, in such circumstances, it is the person that casts the first stone that will get away with it, and the person that it hits that cops the blame. In other words, if my father accuses me of insanity before I accuse him of insanity, it will be me that goes to the loony bin, not him! The thing is, I have a very well developed opinion of what happens when psychiatry is engaged, and would never wish to accuse my father of mental illness, as I am firmly of the opinion that engaging it does nothing but harm - whether the person is ill or not. Onto a bit of a loser from the start, aren't I!

28/1/3

My dog's got no nose!

My dog's got no nose! What's he called? Who me?

Have sent letter to Rory Bremner (never thought I'd write to a TV star!), regarding the small item on his Sunday show on the development and use of odour-causing agents. It is seldom that a person is given a chance to contribute to the downfall of an entire industry. But, since he offered me a factoid of the very kind I had been waiting for, I took the opportunity.

Letter to Rory Bremner.

I expect complete decommissioning of the entire psychiatric empire within three weeks. As I said, once before.

...not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us, when there's no more scream to go round!

Blair found on moon

Striking firemen have hoisted a model rocket up outside the fire station, here, with Blair feet up, sitting on it. I don't think they're too happy with the way negotiations are going. Might take a pic, later. Anyone got a telescope that takes standard Ricoh 'Type k' fittings?

Sorry about the vaguely paranoid outburst of yesterday. But then, if you don't believe that Microsoft is out to get you, you've never used its products.

27/1/3

Resource consultation process a fiasco

Went to a consultation meeting, on Friday and Saturday, regarding use of resources for redeveloping the Southern Quarter of Norwich (ie: the bit I live in). Wasn't told about the meeting. Consultants came up from London and, more or less laughed at us and the process, and, after some staged 'consultation' more or less suggested the idea that they had, in all probability, arrived with. Discussion even descended to talking about developing musical bicycle bells! Police were there, to ask for suggestions. Finding the Ł409million they lost seems a good one!

Had not been quite so insulted for some considerable time, and wrote a very angry letter to my MP.

On the way here, passed a local radio car, interviewing the venue it was held in, to talk about the coffee bar, and sounded off.

In addition to the copy I posted, I have just delivered a copy by hand to the Labour Club, where, I regret to say, I sounded off again, to some functionary who took the letter off me.

I am sincerely hoping that some representative of Mr Clarke, MP, will attend the next meeting, Weds 7pm, at the King Street Community Church, in order to ensure that some sense of gravitas be restored to such proceedings.

And on top of it all, yet again, the library software has, for reasons completely incomprehensible to me, taken a disliking to uploading one of my files - until I change its name. The software suggests that this objection is because of a high score. Presumably, since the upload has now worked, this is associated with the name of the file, which was originally, CLK2513.DOC, in my standard 'house style'. I picked some words at random, off the card sitting next to me, Find A and B, which I managed to mistype, and it happily uploaded it. If the system was examining the contents of the file, this would not happen. Therefore, I conclude that it is examining my file names. I can only conclude that someone has anticipated my producing a file in standard form, and taken a disliking to the idea of my reporting on the meeting, as I am wont to do.

Either that, or it's a very curious bug in the system software indeed. IT people will say 'computers sometimes just do that'. That would be exactly why so many millions of pounds were spent developing intricate pieces of silicon capable of faithful reproduction of millions of complex instructions, wouldn't it!

My doc's got no nose!

Anyone see Bremner, Bird and Fortune, last night? Anyone wish to contemplate the implications of people mucking about with something that makes people smell like shit?

Or the idea of locking them up in a lunatic asylum and calling them mad when they talk about it?

Who? Me?

Will be contacting BBF, and my MP, regarding this, shortly, for some hypothetical discussions.

23/1/3

Stats

Almost up to 200,000 words!

Zero Catch figs, 23/1/3:
23 hits, 4 unique visitors, 28.9MB downloaded!
Another busy day!

Total hits, 5695, total unique visitors, 3141.

MP takes up housing

My MP has written to Cotman Housing, regarding inaction over anti-social behaviour of neighbours. Letter from Charles Clarke, MP.
I have written back, in thanks, and mentioned loss of security cameras, prior to demolition of car park. Letter to MP.

Intelligence for the UK!

Thought it might be useful to the UK to provide a degree in intelligence studies, so dropped a quick note to my MP. Letter to my MP.

Brita filters don't work

All new filter design for Brita water filters doesn't work. Letter to Brita.

How powerful are Philips sunlamps?

Wrote to Philips, re: power output of facial solaria. Am very worried that the power output is far in excess of that required for facial tanning. I get brown after 5-10mins at a distance of 2.5m. It recommends numerous sessions of 10-20min at 10cm. Inverse square law makes this sound very very worrying! Letter to Philips.

How I got so tanned

Excel spreadsheet of my tanning, this year. Am still carrying pretty healthy looking tan. Tanning sessions with Philips sunlamp. Put this together for the benefit of my dermatologist, who will, without doubt, want to know this, and who will also be able to explain just how safe his PUVA is!

Jobs for the boys!

As my brother appears to be so artistically gifted, and so needy of more money, I have, without even being asked, volunteered my help. I have very kindly written to the BBC in Norwich, and Anglia TV, asking them to give him a job here, or a job with more money in Cardiff.
Letter to BBC East
Letter to Anglia TV (Essentially, the same letter with appropriate mods).

In deference to common sense, BBC East actually wrote back to me! I surmise that they either:
1) Failed to spot my sarcasm.
2) Spotted my sarcasm, but thought the joke was so funny that it merited further transmission.

Letter from BBC East.

Now, sometimes, I engage in a little 'guerilla theatre' around town, by way of demonstration against this or that. Some people may consider my actions, from time to time, to be a little 'eccentric', or, depending upon their politics. or, perhaps, their opinions on art 'unwelcome', or, if it suits them (for the same reasons - assuming that they wish to own up to an idea such as 'locking up' those that challenge underground power structures (eg: masons, etc)) 'mad'. That is to say that, in many instances, some of the things that I do would only be considered to be 'wrong' by those people that are doing something 'a bit underhand' themselves (eg: a freemason). Which is my way of saying 'Howzat!'. If you respond as though you are angry, then I will conclude that you feel wronged. I will conclude that you can only feel wronged if I was right (ie: my demonstration was justified).

It never ceases to amaze me how many people 'fall for' this! This letter from the BBC is of similar ilk. The letter that I wrote to them was clearly:
1) Sarcastic
2) Not serious
3) In all probability, malicious
4) Indicative of a family squabble, and, in all probability, of little consequence to the BBC

All of which raise the rather entertaining question 'What exactly are they doing at the BBC?'. And, for the sake of argument 'Would they ever wish to call me 'mad'? Caught playing!

Or, perhaps they are of the opinion that my brother's artistic judgement is so questionable that this ought to be brought to the attention of his management - funny route to use, mind.

Then again, perhaps they consider that madness is, by definition, congenital, and that this should immediately be brought to the attention of their personnel department? Again, a funny route for such information, though.

It's also rather disappointing to conclude that their response may well be a lot quicker than any response that I might have got, had I been applying for a job, there!

21/1/3

Change of address

I think I am going to change email providers. Have finally got fed up with Voila disappearing into a void. Accessing the adverts it supports appears to be all too easy. Finding the tiny files that constitute my email appears to be all too difficult. I have, therefore, after a rather higgledy-piggledy conversation with a Frenchman in the library, set up an account with the French postal service, LaPoste. If it continues to work well, I shall transfer my business to it. I have, so far, successfully exported my address book to it, which was quite a nice surprise. Also, it appears to support multiple attachments (ie: no max of 3), which is also useful.

Anyone wishing to email me at the new address should use the following:

jeremy.jones@laposte.net

Demolition

The car park next to my flats is being demolished. This has greatly upset the local gardening mafia, who were quietly enjoying being sole guardians of things horticultural in the area. The fact that they made a complete mess of something potentially beautiful appears to have escaped the Labour Party. Have written a quick email to them: Email to Labour party and MP. Perhaps they will put filters over the drains to prevent any more blockages?

Weather data

Have started transferring weather data to Excel file. This may take a while! So far, figures indicate gradual decrease in average humidity, going into Easter, with accompanying rise in average temperature. Am hoping some indication as to efficacy of 'Fair', 'Change', etc, indications on barometer might become visible. Data here, later.

18/1/3

Home Office replies, re: policing

Got a reply from the Home Office, re: policing - they will be forwarding my letter to the Chief Constable.
Letter from Home Office.
'Making your complaint against the police' leaflet from PCA.

Argos replies, re: bad bed

Got a reply from Argos, re: bad bed. More or less says: 'up yours!'.
Letter from Argos re: bad bed.

Cotman provides service charge breakdown

Cotman Housing has provided me with a breakdown of its service charges. Can't say I'm too impressed. There is no mention of security, and the payphone (which could so easily be a lifeline, in case of emergency) was stripped out to save a mere Ł1.21 per unit per month. Curiously, caretaking charges are predicted to go down - pay cut for poor Maurice? Gardening is going up - do we get flowers, this year? And cleaning goes up, too! That'll be a relief!
Excel spreadsheet of Cotman service charges.

My skin

Have seen specialist. Two students in tow. Picked, prodded, scraped. Has given me some 'Bactroban' (aka Muprocin) ointment. Has recommended PUVA treatment (soaking hands in Psoralen in oil, followed by UVa treatment). Can't say I'm keen, as many essential oils (Psoralen is extracted or based on Ammi Majus (aka Bishopsweed)) cause photosensitivity, as does Psoralen, for sure. Will discuss on Valentine's day (assuming it falls the same day, this year!).

15/1/3

Police performance

Have duly filled out police satisfaction survey.

Have also written a long, varied and detailed letter to them: letter to police, re: performance.

I really, really, really didn't need them to go pestering me for an opinion on their performance, at the moment - particularly not given what they haven't been doing for me. And I certainly didn't need the insult of being asked to do it by a certain time! Perhaps they might care to deal with my problems within their target times, before setting some for me?

Cotman Housing wasting even more of my time

Letter from Cotman, asking for access to my flat, to see something that they have every reason to believe is in good working order - given that I generally contact them if there's a problem. Wonder why they are so keen? I think I'll tell them to get lost and look elsewhere! Wish they'd get on with getting rid of the people that are genuinely ruining their assets.

14/1/3

Police wasting more time

I have received a questionnaire from the police, regarding the service I received from them, in the matter of the assault. Questionnaire from police, re: service.
So far, I have had to remind them, several times, of the fact that I have reported this. When, finally, an office contacted me, I was talked to as if this was all my fault, and as if the technical offence that I might have committed was, clearly, far more important than the assault that I had suffered (which he finally got around to admitting was an assault some time towards the end of the discussion - must have slipped his mind, earlier!).
I am not aware of the police having taken this matter any further - other, it seems, than to pester me (the victim) by further wasting my time, and reminding me that they are prepared to do absolutely nothing about the problem.
They have, however, quite happily returned to the scene of yet another incident to wake me up again, assuming I was able to get to sleep (which I wasn't) several hours later - but disturbing the perpetrators was clearly not going to be on the agenda.
I am beginning to wonder just how many such trials a person ought, reasonably, to be expected to put up with before it becomes a reasonable response to lose their temper - which normal human expression of emotion, as far as I can tell, is a forbidden asset in the armoury of those that may or may not consider to be or have been mentally ill.
I wonder how fast the police will wish to respond if I finally get around to nailing the door of my neighbours shut, fast, during the night so that they have to holler out of a window for someone to open it? (I expect they're far too poor to be able to afford a telephone - especially with the bill for the medicines (dope, etc, etc)). (Funnily enough, someone nailed four key fire doors shut, one Easter - just the kids! - And we've got a fire strike looming! - Naturally, I would not condone, for a moment, such dangerous behaviour!).

Cotman wasting more time, service charge to City Hall

See above, really. Got a similar letter from Cotman (my housing association) today, indicating that, in deference to my use of reasonably clear written English, they still feel it necessary to summon me to their offices before doing anything else. In my experience, this is the behaviour of an executive that fully intends to do nothing, but who wishes to make a big show of making it clear that they believe that there is either a) no problem; or b) any such problem lies with the plaintiff, by carrying the matter out verbally, so that they can control the conversation and so that there is no record of what they said. Total wasters! And I don't care for the fact that they've picked on the service charge for this letter, either! It's just their way of attempting to decrease the importance of a much more important question - namely the behaviour of my neighbours, their staff, and the supposed representatives in 'resident' forums. Naturally, there will now be a further delay, in which I either write back, asking them to use their common sense, or attempt to arrange a meeting.

Taxi!

Oh. The other day. A working day (for those privileged enough (in the opinion of whom, I cannot say)). In the middle of the day. Away from every other job that had to be done during the day. On the sly. In the dark. In the car park. I saw the caretaker nip out in his car. He came back, later, ferrying the Chair of the Residents' Association, Colleen Delsaint back from the shops. Didn't know that he offered a taxi service, too! At least, I haven't seen it adveritsed. Odd, really, as he doesn't take in parcels from the postman for anyone. Doesn't seem to be his job to salt all the paths, in the ice. Wasn't him that cleaned the graffito off my door, or the condoms out of the corridors, or the shoe polish off the door handles, or off the mirror in the lift. Think it was probably him hammering on the railings in the stairwell, this morning, when I was trying to catch up my sleep by lying in. Must be some special kind of contractual subclause!

Ex libris

Bought a 102 year old book of poems from the second-hand bookshop at the end of my road for 50p, today! Printed 1901. Ex Libris Norwich Free Library (then Norfolk County Library). Bargain! Think it may be my first purchase of an antique (didn't realise it was that old - just thought it might be a good collecton of odes!). Wonder why they didn't want it?

13/1/2

Supplemental...

Have returned to add letter I wrote to my father that sparked a little artwork: Letter to Derek.
I am beginning to feel that the art debate, in particular, whether jelly beans can be taken to analagous to pills is descending into farce. I am expecting to be able to set up a picnic seat, quite possibly with picnic table, in the market place, as you see, in films, sometimes, and sit and watch total farce unfold before me, shortly, if someone doesn't instil some common sense! Might even take along a Thermos flask of tea - could go on for quite a while, and might get rather frosty!

Anti-social neighbours

Had yet another reason to call out the police, the other day (night of 3rd/4th Jan), when the neighbours returned at about 2am. Was dozing, but heard them coming up stairs. As they passed my door, someone gave it a really heft kick. Actually levered the hasp on the bottom deadbolt out of the wood! When on phone to operator, made a bet that the police would be happy to arrive to waken me, but would not wake neighbours. I won! (Police carefully selected the two most diminutive WPCs to send out to the violent incident in the dead of the night - some people are so brave!).
Letter from Police, re: assault.

Wrote to complain to housing association, my MP, and David Blunkett (Home Office). Had finally had enough of police procedure - they never seem to do anything but turn up, talk down to me, or at me, tell me not to be careless (or similar) and then do diddly squat about the problem.
Letter to Cotman Housing asking for neighbours to be evicted.
Letter to Police, enclosing 50p payout on wager (I know I won, but it seemed such a splendid way of getting up their noses).
Letter to David Blunkett, re: police procedures, sponsorship and 'house style'.
Letter to Charles Clarke, re: policing, with footnote on charitable status of housing associations.

Pics on this site

Sad news: my second digital camera has gone wrong, the same way the first one did. So, no more cheap pics for this web site. Got my money back - sadly, no replacements available!

Quality at Argos

This was also an Argos product. Have, finally, finished the stupid bed, which, it has to be said, now that it's finished (see: Pic of strut strengthening I used) is, actually, quite comfortable. However, was very cheesed off that it took so long to get there, so wrote to Argos QC manager: Letter to Argos, re: bed. Haven't had any reply, yet.

Allegory in art is dead!

Allegory in art is dead! It doesn't exist. Period. Nope! Not there at all!

My dear brother, David, produced a rather catchy album with his band, Railroad Bill [and the Boxcar Stompers], a while back. The cover features a picture of jelly beans. The album is called 'Crazy Words, Crazy Tune'. It is my assertion that the jelly beans represent pills. He maintains that this is not the case. Compare for yourself! Pic comparing book on drugs with my brothers's album.

I now maintain that, if those jelly beans are not pills, then allegorical art is dead.

League news...

I think I can finally say that my family has made it into the major league, as it now risks being divided by very art itself! (Or do I mean 'it has been demoted to the Little League, until such time as it begins to deport itself in a more seemly manner'?).

Modern art that says things

After one particular round of the 'beans aren't pills' debate (if I recall, it was after reading this letter to Derek, my father, rather childishly, offered to bring round some prepared canvasses, paint and brushes. Now, I had suggested that, if art was little more than a matter of copying and pasting clipart images, and if insult was not to be found in an album clearly making reference (and profitably so) to the illness of another member of the family, then perhaps I should try my hand at art, instead of something actually productive. At this point, I lost my temper, too! I informed him that there would be no need to indulge in such expenditure. So, the rather tastefully dim, greenish shades of a still life of a jug, some flowers and a couple of apples, tastefully framed in a green, faintly 'limed' wooden frame, painted by my mother, in 2000, is now sprayed black (? general purpose gloss, from Poundland) all over, barring a cross masked at the time of spraying by two strips of masking tape, and the area in which my mother monogrammed it. A ?0 note has been rendered valueless by excision of reference numbers with a scalpel, and the note shape permanently reduced, and duly pinned with a thumb tack to the upper 'stanchion'. I have labelled it 'Angst', attributed it and dated it with dymo tape. I wonder what it could be trying to say! - And why? Sadly, you will have to wait a while for sight of this. I discovered my digital camera was dead this morning, when I tried to snap it! But, you can trust me when I say it is a genuine masterpiece! I believe it fulfils all the main criteria required of modern work - little time taken, little skill exhibited (or required), and a genuinely nasty, spiteful intent.

They read good books, and quote, but never learn
a language other than the scream of rocket-burn
Our straighter talk is drowned but ironclad:
elections, money, empire, oil and Dad.

Andrew Motion (Poet Laureate), 9/1/3

Weather update

Haven't had time to graph the pressure, temperature and humidity readings, yet, but have copied a guide to estimating windspeed out of a cyclopaedia (Pears, 93-94, Pelham Books), including the Beaufort Scale, and speed in mph and Knots (the latter is used by the Met Office), as am trying to improve depth in recordings. Guide to estimating windspeed.

Docs...

Sadly, no time, also, to finish docs database. Shortly, now, as have finished major project (bed). Will be seeing skin specialist, soon, so expect skin to get worse in near future. Thankfully, between now and then, arms have eased off, so am using much less cream and a lot less paper.

Who wants communications, anyway?

Who really wants communications, in this world, anyway?
I'm coming to the conclusion that there is a small army of people out there just trying to gum up, cut, block or otherwise hinder all sorts of communications. They just can't control them, so they spoil them for other people.
By way of simple example, I logged onto the Guardian's message board, which, the last time I was there, was quite lively in parts - one or two intelligent and genuinely curious people that were happy to discuss things in a serious manner. However, at that time, I was also conscious of a number of 'spoilers' in the area - intentionally or otherwise, they were screwing up genuine debate by adding meaningless, trite, offensive, or diverting comments that either blocked, diverted or otherwise spoiled useful debate - which was a pity.
This time, the same happened, only it was all quieter, and I rather think the intelligent component had left to find a more conducive atmosphere in which to debate important (or simply interesting) matters without such hindrance.
For example, what would be the expected effect of posting a reply to a question that read '_You_ seem to be posting a lot of things, today!'. What on earth is the point of that? What on Earth do people expect people to do there? Why on Earth clutter up someone's thread with spurious garbage? Perhaps if their fingers stop moving, they have to engage their brain?

If people really are intent on screwing up communications (reducing bus services, trains, planes, banning football supporters from traveling, etc) what on Earth is the point of spending the money on the communications in the first place? Why bother shelling out for a PC and a broadband link if you don't want to see it used? - This is exactly what happened at NORCI (now called 'Meridian East'), which tied up over ?00,000 of money intended to allow the 'mentally ill' (or similar, recuperating) to communicate by failing to maintain it, and by needlessly restricting what users might be permitted to use it for. I think, perhaps, some of these people see themselves as some kind of hero - God alone knows why, but they seem, sometimes, to give every appearance that this is how they perceive themselves!

I believe that the government of this country should make communications available to all people (industrial/commercial and domestic users) free of charge. I think that this would increase the effectiveness, and competitiveness, and improve the business of this country. It might also put an end to people trying to squash the limited availability that some experience, quite possibly putting an end to a lot of internal division (ie: divide and rule) that is hindering success!

There's a fun book, by a chap called 'Post', entitled 'Amusing ourselves to death', which compares the Orwellian future with the Huxleyan (ie: information restriction versus information overload used to deny the masses useful communications). It was written about 20 years ago. I think, perhaps, the masses experience a bit of both, today!

Norfolk updates comms!

Internet entirely gone in library, over last weekend, as Norfolk County Council playing with electrickery at County Hall (wrong kind of electrons, perhaps?) - I believe the original design spec of the net encouraged redundancy, for resilience - lost the plot, somewhere, methinks! Wonder it there're any cheap second-hand PCs going, down there?

Fuzzy thinking

Have dug out Bart Kosko book, 'Fuzzy Thinking' (93), from my shelves, and am investigating the concept of Fuzzy Cognitive Maps (see excerpt: FCMs, extract from Kosko (pp222-225, 'Fuzzy Thinking, The New Science of Fuzzy Logic', by Bart Kosko; Publ: Flamingo, 1993; ISBN0-00-654713-3; Price ?.99). These allow you to 'compute' the causal effects on various phenomena. You draw nodes representing the effects you are interested in examining the presence (or strength) of (eg: Islamic fundamentalism, Arab radicalism, PLO terrorism) and link them with weighted causal lines (eg: positive, negative, zero, (strong, weak)). Other sources on the net indicate that this is a form of neural net, so may be a bit 'complex' for me to attempt to program, but will have a look. Was thinking it might be interesting to look at: Iraq; Afghanistan; charity; religion (demons, psychiatry, following, credibility, etc); underground power structures (eg: freemasonry); underground and/or informal economies (similar); crime and punishment. If the Christians abandon demonic possession, is it curtains for their religion? And, if so, how fast? If the police fail to pursue cases, and mess people around with procedure, is there a rise in vigilantism (do we get more gun crime?????) - and if so, what is the solution! How often can this country afford to update operating systems, comms and computing? Can it continue to pander to Microsoft? If we update every three to five years... (ruddy subversives!).

Post Office pays up

Got two cheques from Royal Mail for late arrival of two Special Delivery items: Letter from Royal Mail.

19/12/2

Norfolk & Norwich hospital wasting money

Have, today, received an NHS card. This is rather surprising, as I haven't, yet, filled in the form for the Norfolk & Norwich Hospital (see yesterday) which was asking me whether I was someone considered to be entitled to NHS money. NHS card. I managed to tear off two digits (two fives) while peeling the insulating tape I used to mask my number off with. Pretty stupid - hope it's nothing important!

More light comedy from the police

Here's a scan of the letter from the police, regarding the incident in which someone poured oil all over my motorcycle. Letter from police. Despite telling them, clearly, several times, that my bike was parked inside the court, someone clearly concluded it would be very amusing to used the words 'outside Parmentergate Court' on the report. It seems to be a continuing source of amusement, to Norfolk Constabulary, to query just exactly what constitutes my front door, and I am getting rather tired of it. I rather thought that people hired, at very considerable expense, for such a responsible role in society, might be expected to act with gravitas. Well, it's either that, or they weren't listening. And the lady that took the report confirmed she had suggested she had understood me - so, couldn't be that. Perhaps 'D Barden' is illiterate? I have no idea whether this might have implications for insurance. Complained about this, the other day.

For some reason, the library's security system is playing up, again, and I have, for a second time, only managed to persuade it to upload files by rescanning/altering them, renaming them, and trying again. For some reason, the score of '11', which they earned (assuming it was they) apparently evaporated when I did this. Anyone that can think of a reason why this might work is invited to email me, using the address at the top of the page. Myself, I am asking myself at what point I should begin to ask whether this is an effect of gremlins, bugs, or whether there is some form of human intervention at work. Of course, to suggest human intervention would be 'paranoid', so it clearly can't be that. Must be one of those new pieces of software that can't tell the difference between two identical files. Must have missed the memo.

Went to chemist, yesterday, to find aqueous cream. Since I was holding an umbrella with rabbit's ears, I suggested, when the man addressed me, that he serve the gentleman in front of me, first. He said there was no-one there, and invited me forward. I motioned to Harvey again, so he called the next person forward. After I had complained about all these people pushing in, I was served. Asked for a tub of cream. When he presented it, I asked if he could see any dirt on it. This seemed to be a slight problem for him. He smeared his hands all over it for a while and then said: 'It's clean'. I suggested he could keep it, and left.

Went to a health food shop, for sugar-free cough sweets. A lady doing the tidying up managed to jostle me. I thought this was quite funny, as I was not pretending to be an invisible white rabbit, at the time. Suggested it was odd how people couldn't see me, when I wasn't pretending thus, but how they could when I was. Innit funny how the Harvey 'gag' works, eh? Something of a no-win gag, really. If you play along, I'll say I can't see anything and ask you what you're doing. If you don't I get to say things like 'mind the rabbit'. A winner every time. Not too sure why, but this reminds me, rather, of psychiatry!

Braille

My apologies for inaccuracy in reporting on RNIB Braille! I hadn't noticed that the punctuation was (mostly) just ordinary letters. And, my retype of it fails to mention that the hyphen is, in fact, unique, and I have failed to reverse the numeral prefix, or mention that numerals are just A-J after it, or that there was, originally, no 'W' which is why the repeating pattern is skewed. Oops! Sorry!

Family life

I added the letters to my dad, and from my brother, yesterday (see below) because of my brother's behaviour, last year. He held onto a present I gave to him to give to my other brother for three months. He never apologised. He has only just done so, now, after the rather severe letter to my dad. And he hasn't felt the need to explain why he behaved the way he did, either. This is, to me, inexcusable. My father hasn't contacted me at all, after the letter. This is also rather disappointing.

It seems, to me, that, in this world, a person can make a very nice living for themselves by ignoring other people. All you have to do, if someone asks you to do something for them, or asks you to explain why you didn't do something, is to answer only the questions you are happy answering - if any at all, and to ignore any others that might be inconvenient, and, when they become angry because you're not behaving considerately, properly, or professionally to blame them - in my case, this would, typically, offer an opportunity to call me 'mad', or 'more mad than we had previously thought'. I refuse to participate in such behaviour. If someone has a gripe with me, I like to think I am happy to pay the price, or to answer every question asked, in order, on time, without fail. I consider such offensive behaviour to be the source of a lot of unnecessary evils in this world.

Anybody want to hazard a guess as to why I changed my name (by deed), in 1999?

Knowing what I know now, I can say that doing such a thing is bad for one's credit rating, and rather inconvenient. Much better, if you wish to express your opinion of your family, to simply offer a different name, if asked (casually), and to retain your original name for use for official purposes.

Have now got reasonably good piece for bed, and will be attempting assembly shortly. Also, over holiday period, am hoping to finish database of doctors, list of files on this site, and maybe one or two 'threads' web pages, to make it easier to find everything on any given subject.

Am not expecting to add much of significance, between now and New Year. Please excuse my feeling unwilling to offer seasonal greetings. Hope everyone has an enjoyable time during the holiday held in honour of the pagan festival (exchanging gifts).

18/12/2

Evening supplemental

Have typed up Braille, so you can write to David Blunkett. Braille.

Couple of letters to my MP:
CLK18122.DOC. Re: refurbishment of Baltic House (Benefits Agency).
CLK11122.DOC. Service charges levied by housing associations.

Letter to my father, re: My brother's attitude to Xmas: Letter to Derek.
Response from my brother: Letter from David.

Rather unwelcome letter from Norfolk and Norwich Hospital, regarding residency monitoring and checking: Letter from N&N.

Letter from Lambeth Palace, re: C of E on demons

I have received a letter from Lambeth Palace, regarding its position on demons. Dr Rowan Williams is apparently spending some time reflecting and praying, so the letter arrived by the hand of Mr Andrew Nunn, Lay Assistant to the Archbishop of Canterbury. It concludes:

'...much physical and mental illness is now more fully understood and to attribute it to possession by demons is inappropriate - at least in simplistic terms.'

Letter from Lambeth Palace, re: its position on demons.

Alma mater

Saw my old university (Warwick) on TV, last night! Had been calling in police because of very large number of thefts. They are installing loads of miniature cameras on the campus, in students' rooms. Checked for similar in Maplin, and they're about ?0 for a simple camera board - ?0 if you want sound, too. Mind you, theirs dial up the police, too.

Who pushes what?

In 1999 and 2000, I subscribed, for a while, to a mailing list called 'Cypherpunks' (try looking for it on a list of lists (I think there's one called 'Liszt'!)). It discussed security, encryption, etc. It attracted a variety of people, some of whom were expert professionals, some who just appeared to be hangers on. Being more or less completely ignorant, I basically sat and read, rather than clutter it with ignorant questions. One of the interesting snippets that was aired, more or less in passing, as I recall, was that...

...it is the police and security forces of this world that are the largest electronic movers of child pornography.

Now, without clarifying this, I cannot say for sure, but I suspect that this is due to them wishing to transfer information for comparative or investigative purposes. However, it certainly begs the question 'where do other people get it from?', and 'do they tap it from the police?'. It also makes you think that perhaps this fact may be associated with the recent arrests.

It would be nice to be able to assume that any such movements, if they really are necessary, are securely encrypted. However, my experience of Norfolk Social Services, which also moves sensitive material, is that it does not use secure encryption - in fact, it is very hazy indeed on what it does use. And, for that matter, neither did NORCI (now called Meridian East), which also transfers data electronically (although, in its particular case, not much in the way of sensitive data).

I remain, as I was, in 1998, of the opinion that the police in this country are hopelessly inadequately trained, equipped and staffed to deal with electronic crime.

Braille

Have been meaning to get around to a little Braille project for a while - have sent a couple of postcards to David Blunkett ('NO TO NO HRA', and 'GET WELL SOON') in pigeon Braille by bashing the full stop on a typewriter and writing it in mirror writing - which is very laborious. Finally got an RNIB guide to the alphabet from NDIS, today. Lettering made a lot easier to understand when you are told that K-T are the same as A-J, but with one more dot (in bottom left spot), and U-Z have two more (bottom left and bottom right). Numbers are represented by a numeral symbol (like a capital L in a mirror) followed by A-J for 1-0. There are also nine punctuation marks listed. For some reason, none of the other alphabets I have ever seen in print mention these simple facts. I wonder why? Unfortunately, the RNIB guide is confusing when it comes to inverted commas, because of a misprint. I assume that open quotes and close quotes are the same.

So. A total of 36 characters to play with. Which is nice, in a way, because it's the same total as A-Z and 1-0. Which means that you could successfully encrypt using the 6 x 6 grid and one-time pad, with the added benefit of punctuation!

Will be measuring spacing, height, size, etc of dots later. Will post pics of project, and examples (if possible) here, later, if it turns out OK.

17/12/2

Police visit, re: assault

Have had a visit from PC Hobson, regarding assault. He first suggested that he had attempted to ring me, on my mobile, but that it had been switched off. I expressed surprise that he had bothered, since I thought they normally dropped a line. He told me that the matter had only just arrived on his computer - so, not too sure when he had tried ringing. Gave him some background, and told him what had happened. He suggested that, in all probability, there had been no assault, but that I had committed some crime of obstruction. We talked some more, and, by and by, he made it clear that he believed that police officers have more rights than any other member of the public. After a while, he changed his mind about the definition of assault, and said that it was, technically, an assault, after all. No idea why the law changed so quickly, but there you go. He suggested he would go and have a word with his sergeant. I thought this would probably be a good idea, given the lack of clarity on a rather minor point. I attempted to clarify, in my mind, exactly why it might have been, when I was a student, that I had gotten a criminal record, while on a snowball demo. On that day, I wished to protest on the pavement. It was completely blocked by police officers. My father, a lawyer, at the time, had warned me that a common dodge, on such dos, on the part of the police, was to block a person's path, wait for them to attempt to push them aside, and then arrest them for assaulting a police officer (same rights, different penalty). Rather than go down for an assault, I sat in the wet gutter, was arrested for obstructing the highway, and later done for it. Which was what I expected. Suggested that, if he was going to make an operational decision to the effect that either no crime had been committed, or that I was in breach of the law, that was an operational decision for him, and that I would happily respect it. However, if he was not going to tell me what was going on for over a month, when the response time is supposed to be seven days, I felt I had the right to be annoyed. Then I confirmed what I had suggested earlier, that, if this was the kind of service I was going to get, I would not bother reporting crimes to the police for them. I noted, in passing, a report that I had made, which I had subsequently heard aired on the police channel on an FM2 radio (188, I think), taking up the matter - but not for half an hour. Noted that the response time, again, might not be what one might expect. He told me that it was illegal to listen to the police. I told him that I had asked, and been reminded, that it was only illegal to act upon anything I heard. (I had asked another police officer (part time), the wife of an inspector). He told me there had, recently, been a change in the law to that effect. I expressed surprise. Told him I'd asked in the station how many freemasons there are in the Norfolk Constabulary.

Will check up on the legality of listening to police, later.

UK Special Delivery postal service

Have had bad results with the Special Delivery service from the P.O. Two out of four failed to arrive within time schedule. Went and complained, and the assistant refused, would you believe, to hand over some claim forms, and told me to ring a magic number, after which I would be sent some. I could not believe my ears. Asked again. She asked me whether I'd like more than one. I said that that might depend on whether they were intending to lose any more of my mail. Eventually was given forms. Asked for the manager. Got the deputy manager. Complained. He told me that 95% of packages arrive as contracted, in time. This sounded an appallingly low average to me. If I put one error in twenty into my copy, almost every other sentence would contain an error! Suggested to him that I must just be unlucky, and he agreed. Have written to Customer Services (see last archive page for insulting, uncaring, unhelpful letters from same). Innit amazing how many people believe that it is their ball? And how many 'Customer Service' functions appear to have absolutely no 'service' to them at all? I suspect that, if they have a problem with the second word, they'll have a problem with the first, soon enough!

White rabbits!

Harvey is on, this Christmas!

So, bought fox-eared umbrella (no rabbits in), sprayed it white, and bought a ? thinsulate woollen hat, and cut two holes in it. Made a loud song and dance about entertaining the people of Norwich by pretending I had an invisible friend, as 'Harvey' is on TV, this Christmas, as I expected that this would be exactly what they would be entertained by.

In view of goings on, made special point of taking both items to P.O. Duly waited for Harvey, in front of me, in the queue. Oddly enough, nobody laughed. In fact, I think one of the PO staff actually looked vaguely terrified. I have no idea why. I wasn't doing anyone any harm. Perhaps Harvey was pulling faces? Difficult to see, from behind!

Gave my brolly to Harvey, while in stationers, earlier today, and the stupid fool left it behind! MI5 will kill me!

And, what's more, I had to guide him across the street, as he was busy watching an ambulance!

Have been tee-total, now, since New Year's Eve, last year (too expensive, and, when dealing with psychiatrists, it is best to avoid alcohol altogether, in case they decide to call you 'dual diagnosis' (eg: depression and alcoholism). However, I have promised Harvey I should turn up, at 'Charlies' (on 12th and Main) later.

Wish I was able to keep a straight face, while indulging in 'guerilla theatre' of this type! - Sadly, I think I cracked, a few times. - At least I found it amusing, at points!

Probability check

Anyone see that 'TLC' programme, last night? TALK about a coincidence! There was me, just the other day, exercising my truly wondrous wit, talking about Bloody Marys, etc. And wouldn't you know it! BBC2! Phlebotomy jokes through the ages!

Then there was that Alan Partridge, afterwards, too! Must be about time for A Partridge in a pear tree, I think! Curious anecdote, I thought... 'Don't be blue, Peter!'. It was rather like Alan Partridge was heading for a nervous breakdown, and finally had one, at that point, when the straw broke the camel's back. Shouldn't be Bloody, Mary! I'm Shy, Mary-Helen, I'm shy!

Which thought makes me wonder about my old boss, Alan Holland. Wonder whether he's 'Bouncing Back' now that he has renamed the company Meridian East (ME) (no connection to my having entered a tick in the name of 'NORCI' in the breach of contract, and unfair dismissal books of ACAS, of course)? Or whether he's going to be 'standing in the dock' (at Southampton... geddit? 'standing in the dock at Southampton trying to get to Holland or Fran's - it's work in progress).

Also reminds me of last year, when BBC ran Dr Terrible and Mr Charity (or is it Dr Charity and Mr Terrible?). I think doctoring charity is probably a good idea! Don't be bloody, Rebenor! (Or is it 'don't be bloody, Rebecca?').

More from 'Gloveland', later (when my antibiotics have worked their magic - actually, I've finished the course, and they're still blotchy).

Well, whatever. I expect Rebecca will have a better Chris Mar than me!

Yeeeuchhh!

Saw someone relieving their dogs on the grass outside my flats, again. So, yelled down and asked them if they'd like an ice cream - chocolate flavour. They declined. I suggested there would be plenty available, when it snowed, and that, if he didn't want some, they'd probably go to the local children, when it came time to build snowmen. They told me they weren't their dogs. - So, doing that for profit, then!

Bravenet counter

I regret to note that my hit counter, from Bravenet, at the foot of this page, appears to have gone wrong. It reads 'incorrect code'. I haven't changed the code, so suspect a problem with Bravenet. Might be that counter is on archive page(s). Will attempt to sort this out, as, it means no-one can see who has been visiting the site (including me). Will add stats from Zero Catch (which just gives numbers), if interesting, later.

Panic over! It appears to have righted itself! - Must have been me not commenting out the code on the archive page, which I have now done!

12/12/2

MP confirms letter from NHS support services

My MP has written to me, again, to confirm that NHS Eastern Support Services has contacted him, regarding the registration process. Letter from MP, re: NHS ESS.

Health

Have had blood sample taken, which gave me a chance to exhibit my dazzling wit (with jokes about Bloody Marys, etc). Nurses not too sure on one or two points (ho ho). Wasn't too impressed by rubber bat with sample phial in mouth, or the radio playing, or repeated merry suggestions that a tip would be in order, or that they were unaware that there was a reception desk in the anteroom to the room they were in, or by the fact that they believed the fire fighters had settled. Rather a curious do. Results of application for 'Appellation Controlle' status later.

My skin seems to be getting a little better, while I am on antibiotics. The itchiness and tendency to inflammation has reduced, which made me wonder what was causing it. Doctor suggested that this might be my body overworking, but was unable to say, with any confidence (or, perhaps just with any ability to instil it) what, precisely, it might be overproducing. Redness fading, slightly. Am worried that (apart from the fact that - in fact, mainly because - my doctor may not know what he is talking about) the condition may simply be bacterial, and will return (since I am unable to sterilise my whole house) once the course is over. Slightly curious to know whether it might have been more useful to perform a swab test for bacteria, or fungi, or biopsy, for similar than to take blood.

Suggested to my doctor that I was beginning to feel that, if doctors were unable to usefully bring the situation under control, I might consider doing something completely insane, such as giving up completely on medicines and allowing my body to sort itself out. I believe, in the Crimea, they called this process 'stewing in your own juice' - and vaguely understand it to have worked (sometimes). Of course, for the 'insane' such behaviour would be regarded as 'insane' (in fact, this is slightly erroneous, as anybody that claims that doctors are, in any way, ineffective, is, by definition (theirs) 'insane' - or at the very least 'lacking in insight', which is just as good a mandate as being called insane, when it comes down to it!). I figure, if I leave it alone, it will go very bubbly, possibly slough some patches of skin here and there, and, with luck, heal over. However, I also figure that, before it gets to the stage where it heals over, someone with enough power to do so will Section me, and call me mad (or at least 'incapable of looking after myself' - cf: lacking in insight).

Use of charitable money by housing associations

I have written to my MP regarding the use of money (?0.62pcm) by housing associations (which have a form of charitable status) under the guise of 'service charges'.
I finally got fed up with Cotman Housing's claims that the forty quid was being used on cleaning, security and maintenance of lifts after I went to use my bike the other day, only to discover someone had poured oil all over it (including some linseed oil, would you believe, as far as I could tell!). Yet another crime to report to the police who weren't the slightest bit interested.

I am beginning to wonder if HG Wells' 'invisible man' became invisible because he 'complained' too much.

I went and complained to the housing association, which offered little, by way of reassurance on the destination of the 'service charge'. I suggested to them, and to my MP, that if they couldn't say more than they did, I'd suggest that the money should be made available to me, directly, so that I might hire a cleaner, myself, and ensure the job was done properly. I figure, if it costs, for example, ? per hour or so, I get eight hours cleaning per month, ie: two hours per week. In that time, I am certain I can get the corridors, stairs, and the whole of my flat seen to, perhaps including washing up, laundry, ironing, etc. The more so if I organise a rota with a neighbour benefiting similarly from direct funding.

Scan of letter later.

Have seen yet another rat in the garden by Rose Lane car park. I would quite like to know why they keep reappearing, if they're being controlled.

Beds

Argos has still to get a headboard plank to me in good condition. It has now been over a month since I first took delivery. They have, variously, supplied at least two wrong parts, and two duff spares. Another is on order. Apparently, for reasons that are completely and utterly utterly utterly beyond me, wished to stop that and send me an entire new boxed bed. My suspicion was that this would, in all probability, contain duds. Apparently, they can't (or can) deliver to the store as they have (or haven't) before, on the grounds that a good part may (or may not) be called a 'spare' or a 'replacement' (as if I care).

The poor beleaguered manager (or not) has, eventually, given me a camp bed and sleeping bag to use until the situation is resolved.

He wants them back. I found this rather surprising. They're 'on loan'.

I have only fallen off once, so far.

Doctor database

Am about a third of the way through the database of Norfolk doctors. Will post as Works DB, Dbase, Excel spreadsheet, comma-separated variable file, tab-separated, and possibly word doc and simple web page, later. Am hoping that hotlinks to Multimap location maps will work in all formats (except, perhaps, csv/tsv).

Courses for the unemployed

After 1st Jan, I can go on various 26-week courses, as I will have been unemployed for a whole year. Keeping people like me unemployed for a whole year is, naturally, the ultimate goal for rehabilitation organisations, such as Meridian East.

If there weren't a large number of people like me, being maintained unemployed, with huge tracts of time on our hands to do all sorts of mischief, people like my MP wouldn't get interesting letters that might, now and then, save them quite large sums of money (or at least buy the odd vote, come election time).

And, quite a lot of other people would actually have to do their jobs properly, being unable to 'bully' (by simply refusing to do it at all) the unemployed into doing them for them, for free (such as Cotman Housing, Eastern NHS Support Services, etc).

I wonder how freemasons stay in control? Perhaps they simply withhold from, (or misperform for), services for the people that they don't like? Or am I confusing such behaviour with Fabianism (a trait named after 'Fabius Cunctatus Maximus', known, for his military tactics, as 'the delayer'), the foundation (unless I am tragically wrong) of the modern Labour party. Seems to me, if this is true, that the modern Labour party can count on an unusually high number of votes from some rather unlikely sources, in this area. I'll try and check this for you, later - much later!

Haven't heard anything from the police, yet, regarding the matter of assault. I expect they're just very busy. Labour voters to a man (or woman), no doubt.

I am an invisible banana.

7/12/2

Multiple guess quiz...

1) In what form is flucloxacillin delivered:
a) Cream.
b) Tablet.

Bonus option (only available from the patient):
c) Capsule.

Second bonus option (only available from a pharmacist):
d) Syrup.

2) Which of the following does aqueous cream not contain:
a) Sodium cyanide.
b) Essence of house dust mite excreta.
c) Oil seed rape pollen.
d) Ariel Automatic.
e) Lanolin.

3) What course of treatment would you recommend for a person who finds their eczema is brought on by washing and water:
a) Plenty of washing up, with car shampoo.
b) Handwashing with Ariel Automatic.
c) A good, hot, long bath, every day.

4) You have a patient you desperately wish to see the back of. Do you:
a) Cure them as fast as possible.
b) Do everything you can to destroy their confidence in you.
c) Laugh at completely inappropriate moments during your conversation with them.
d) Show rather curious facial expressions that almost appear to indicate attempted suppression of considerable actual physical pain for absolutely no reason whatever.
e) Show signs of anger with them, when they bring your attention to the fact that you have already had a run-in on the question of faith in doctors.

5) You have a patient requesting a long-term plan. Do you:
a) Send them away with a prescription for half an aspirin and a suggestion to come back in four days for another.
b) Pass the buck to a specialist.
c) Completely forget that this was what the patient asked for.
d) Prescribe something that is likely to reduce their immunity to a wide variety of ailments, and offer a vague promise that they can see a specialist some time in the next three months.

6) Who gives you the better value for money?
a) A ?00 per hour doctor.
b) A ?00 per hour doctor.
c) A ?0 per hour pharmacist.
d) Fred down the road.

7) Instant cures are available on sale in:
a) Tiny weeny capsules (free toothbrush with every pack).
b) Gallon tins on the forecourt (but only four at a time). (See an introductory essay from Shaw's Doctor's Dilemma).

8) A patient suggests he would prefer to avoid a particular specialist. Do you:
a) Politely inform them that this is their hard luck, and that to suggest that a particular doctor can be bypassed is unethical.
b) Imply, more or less that this is not how business is done, but tell them that you can probably drop a hint so that it can be achieved.

9) A single man, who has been described (if briefly) as 'a paranoid schizophrenic with encapsulated delusional system', presents. You are considering prescribing antibiotics. Which of the following questions (and in which order) do you ask:
a) Are you sexually active?
b) Are you in a high-risk AIDs category?
c) Are you a homosexual? (Only to be asked if the answer to 'b' is given as 'no').
d) Can I have a couple of names from your rather well-thumbed little black book?

I am my own man!

This is only a Ł3/week quiz, and should not, for a moment, be mistaken for an ?0,000 per annum quiz. Anyone wishing to provide me with ?0,000 per annum answers to any of the above questions can find my email address at the top of this page.

Sincere apologies to the hordes of women (and men) fighting for my body, but the waiting list cannot be cut to below about nine months. - At least, not without significant additional funding.

I have seen a doctor!

Am now on something with an extremely long name 'Erythromycin' (250mg 4x/day) for my eczema/psoriasis/imagination (delete as appropriate). I think the reddening on my hands is beginning to fade, already. And, my arms even feel less itchy (or am I just imagining it?).

Black hole found in Norfolk police pension

The Evening News, which I am still refusing to buy, but whose headlines I occasionally sneak a peek at on the newstands, says that a rather large hole has been found in the pension fund of the Norfolk Constabulary.

Ł409m missing!

The Evening News suggests that the hole is one of Ł409m! This, to me, seems unbelievably huuuuge! I am amazed that the Norfolk Constabulary would be able to muster a fund that included a hole so huge. For someone to apparently allow a hole that large to appear, without picking up on it, surely indicates considerable mismanagement, somewhere. Quite apart from the question of what could be done with the money (and whose it is), one has to ask 'where has it gone to?' and 'what has it been used for?' (which becomes more interesting when you ask whose it is).

The longer I live here, and the more I learn about the area, the more convinced I become that this is a 'rotten borough'.

Rather amusingly, the Evening News' sister paper, the EDP, was praising the police only that morning! I don't suppose they had talked to a single copper! Talk about being bitten in the bum by a story!

MIDI songs

Have finished coding in 'Nobody Home' from Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'. Am torn between use of honky-tonk piano or ordinary piano. Ordinary piano gives better tone, especially with the bass line. However, honky-tonk reflects, I suspect, a good deal more accurately, the feel of the inside of a psychiatric hospital. Indeed, I can remember one of the patients struggling, repeatedly, while I was there, to get beyond the first few bars of a piece he was, once, able to play very well, on a rather worn, and out-of-tune upright.
Have found HTML codes, which apppear to be relatively simple (barring Microsoft's standard childish attempts at continuance of monopoly or inconvenience for the rest) and am in process of checking whether Zero Catch supports autoplay MIDI files, and whether they operate any restrictions on the use of such, etc.

Finding files on this site

Am about to generate a web page listing all files on this site, with description (assuming I can remember the content of 500 or so files, one year on!). May also provide as database or Excel file, if it looks useful and/or is quick to do.

5/12/2

Finding a GP - have arrived!

Have finally got a GP. Am expecting massive savings in money for aqueous cream, after tomorrow, as a result.
Received copy of letter from Martin Payne to Charles Clarke, this morning: Letter from Payne to Clarke.
When Argos finally coughs up an unwarped plank for the headboard of my bed, I shall, at last, be able to devote some time to making the business of finding a GP easier for the poor, overworked souls at Eastern NHS Support Services, by providing them with a database of all doctors in Norfolk. As I said before, I have been a slacker, and ought to be remonstrated with, accordingly!

Have dug out synth, again, and am halfway through coding in 'Nobody Home', from Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'. (Incidental private joke: one of the houses of the school I attended, Culford, was called 'Floyd' - funny thing is that the house colour was yellow. Honess, the house to which I belonged, was red (the closest to pink). I believe one of the composers is, or was, relatively speaking, local to this area. Sort of makes you wonder whether any of the material in it might be based upon stories of/from Hellesdon Hospital.
Just need to find a way to get data from Atari onto a disk that the machines in the library can read, without jeopardising my PC health policy. Also need to research some MIDI standards data, as my synth is a little quirky, when it comes to which voice is which. Might try adding the tune (or, perhaps, something less like a dirge) to this site - assuming appropriate HTML codes exist. If your ears are greeted by a Buzzcocks tune being played on a muted harpsichord, let me know - I've obviously got it wrong!

I appear to be getting a lot of hits from the NHS - and from several different locations (the servers of which all, rather entertainingly take the name 'hide...'). Wonder why? None of them seem to have signed my guest book, yet.

Also, Zero Catch figures indicate a bonanza, yesterday, with 38 visitors, 76 hits (items downloaded), and 38.75Mb of data drawn off. Figures slightly at odds with Bravenet, which indicates about half a dozen visitors! I may have a look around for another counter provider, to see if I can iron out these anomalies.

4/12/2

Sergeant Steve! Sergeant Steve!

Have been allocated a doctor. Letter from Eastern NHS Support Services. For some reason, this appears to have been done in the name of one 'Mr J Clark'. Martin Payne's email to me, which was forwarded to Colin Lakey, from whom the allocation letter originates, addressed me as 'Jeremy Jones'. I would like to know, therefore, how this invention took place. Perhaps Mr Lakey just thinks he is exceedingly amusing?

'In my heart, I know I am funny.'

Have received promised explanation of accountability, from GO-East: Letter from GO-East. With it came some leaflets from 'Norwich Enterprise Agency Trust (NEAT), including a suggestion that if you have a wheelchair or mental health problem, you can get lost: Part of NEAT document. - See page 2 to see what it considers to be 'personal qualities'.
Copy of original letter to GO-East: Letter to GO-East.

Have written to incoming Archbishop of Canterbury, for position on demons: Letter to incoming Archbishop of Canterbury.

Couple of letters to my MP, Charles Clarke (or is it Jones?)
Letter 1 to MP, doctors, probability and encryption. Letter 2 to MP, removal of public services without consultation (telephone boxes).

Finally got to play with the air horn fitting on my MI5 pursuit vehicle, yesterday. After Alan Partridge, of Norwich, majored on James Bond videos, took the opportunity he had presented me with to visit a petrol station to see if I could find any. Went away with a bottle of Sunny Delight - not quite as revolting as I remembered it being - perhaps they've removed the sugar?

Happy Anniversary!

It's that time of year, again, when newspapers ought to be looking at the security releases. What will come out of the archives, this year? If the matters are not reclassified, then we might expect something on the end of the Boer War (100 years ago), and also, perhaps on Vietnam, and perhaps Northern Ireland (30 years) which was in turmoil, at the time. A look through my Chronicle also indicates considerable space activity, 30 years ago, though this is unlikely to impact on UK secrets. Trade Unionism also quite lively, then!

Appy Polly Loggy!

Have bought a copy of Clockwork Orange, by Burgess, and a guide to the book. Will be attempting to codify the methods used by Burgess to construct his language, 'Nasdat', which the characters use. Suggests based upon Russian/Slav languages. - cf: Klingon, which uses, among others, Welsh. Guide suggests a vocabulary of about 200 words is used in the book. Watch this space for 'Jesdat' - may require a trip to somewhere exotic, first!

Below are some of the better bits from the top of the last page, which have been edited. Full, original texts are on the archive page.

2/12/2

Registering with GPs

Email from Martin Payne, of Norwich PCT: Letter from Martin Payne.
Sadly, I do not have a phone, which is why I spent so much time and money writing to the doctors of Norwich. Furthermore, the local Labour Councillors, and the members of the Residents' Association of Cotman Housing, all seem to be Hell-bent on removing payphones from the area. This seems to reflect the apparent will of today's government to reduce communications (electronic, transport, etc) wherever possible. This is a source of worry to me. I have replied to him, asking for an address to write to.

30/11/2

MP addresses question of registering with GPs

My MP has contacted Norwich PCT for me. Letter from Rt Hon Charles Clarke, MP.

They only answered: 'Little liar!'

Firemen told me that, in spite of their readiness to answer life-threatening situations, as they have promised, calls are not being routed to them. In such cases, a person would have to dash up to the station themselves to make contact. They would then be happy to call the call centre, for it to issue them with appropriate instructions.

29/11/2

Meridian East over Plimsoll Line!

28/11/2

Supplemental...

(ME's) Ipswich Road Garden Centre.
NORCI sign on office shed - not changed to 'Meridian East'.
View of office shed.
Closed signs in window of greenhouse.
Side view of greenhouse, showing empty compost/fertiliser storage area.
Stripped floor of greenhouse.
Geraniums - dead and alive.
Dead geraniums in detail (GHOUL!).

Zip file of all above pics (647kb).

SECURITY BRIEFING...EYES ONLY.../...EYES ONLY.../...EYES ONLY...

Letter to the FBI.
See subsequent confirmations of some of its content, above, and note my comments beneath the letter.

25/11/2

..TOP SECRET...TOP SECRET...TOP SECRET...

Letter from GO-East.

Checkpoint 'Charlie'

Former 'Eastern' bloc records indicate URL to be: www.norci.org.
However, this yields no useful data.
A quick hunt, however, reveals ongoing 'pump-priming' activities at a new address: www.meridian-east.org. However, this URL appears to be 'strongly encrypted', and proofed against standard access procedures.
Possible boomer in the yard! Repeat! Possible boomer in the yard! Break! Break!

Quick question

At what point did it become profitable to be an artist?

How to spot a story, Part 1

Where those press releases went: Certificates of posting
20/11/2

A little publicity for JK Rowling, creative genius.
POTREL.DOC
GENREL.DOC

Short letter to my MP about finding a doctor.
Letter to MP.
16/11/2

Fire strike precautions

How to make an emergency fire escape ladder. SEE DISCLAIMER IN DOCUMENT!

Today is officially 'Mock an Artist Day'!

Original, art (and definitely not) method art:
Original poem.
Next, something to compare it to:
A penny for your ode!
Mechanical method art - warning, this is very silly, very childish, rather smutty and definitely lavatorial!
An ode by mechanical art.
Personally, I think this work is of rather poor quality. But then, that's the whole point, here!

Instant artistic creativity!

Nonsense.
Postcard I produced for my brother in Wales:Postcard to Wales.

14/11/2

Fire Strike

Some daytime pics:
Firestation, with picket. (- Poor photography makes it looks, rather curiously, as though they are standing in the shadow of an enormous Yorkie!)
Picket, with bivouac. (Yorkie obviously hungry!)
Picket with brazier.

13/11/2

Fire strike in Norwich

Pics of strikers outside Norwich Fire Station, at 6.00pm tonight.

Picket line.
Strikers with official picket sign.
View of picket line 'from the cold end'.
Another view of the picket line with official picket sign.

12/11/2

Was assaulted, on Thursday, by the Chair of the Parmentergate Court Residents' Association. Letter from Police, re: assault. Included with letter, was this booklet explaining what will happen next and how: Victims of Crime.

For anyone worried about my health, I am, physically, fine

Evening supplemental

Star pics:

f/2.8, 20sec.
f/8, 20sec.
f/8, 2min. 'Trailing' becoming apparent.
f/8, 4min. Trailing very clear.
f/8, 15min.
f/8, 30min. Includes rather feeble firework!
f/8, 1hr.
Zip file of all above seven pics (553kb).

Second cover letter sent to doctors, re: getting registered: Letter to doctors.

Last home page archived off! Go to: Archive III: archive3041202.htm!

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